It is logical
by ms.mango
Summary: Spock and Uhura, its actually very logical. How does a half Vulcan Commander and a brainy cadet become an item? Origin story, pre movie.
1. Chapter 1

** I own Nothing**

It is Logical

Spock considered himself to be a very logical man. He was Vulcan, he chose logic over emotion, logic was constant, dependable, and safe. Sitting in his office his mind wondered to her. What was it that made her so interesting? Many female students and colleagues had attempted to penetrate his cold façade of discipline and control, he found their attempts uncomfortable yet amusing. She did not agree with everything he said or try to bring him food after long hours in his office. She did not shorten the already ridiculously short cadet uniform for his viewing pleasure like his previous assistant. No, the game of seduce the Vulcan was not one that she seemed interested in playing. She defiantly had a presence about her and she was never wary of speaking her mind, she was a logical woman.

It was not her eyes that he noticed first, large, brown, and incessantly deep they were beyond beautiful, but he had not noticed. Nor did he notice the grace with which she walked, her honeyed voice, or the supple mouth that glided around the Vulcan language with precise perfection. Though all these things haunted him as he sat in his office, they were all secondary observations.

"People say that Vulcan's are purely logical, but do you really not experience love?" The question came from a redheaded green cadet who seemed to be fishing for more than a simple explanation.

Spock, who had encountered the question several times before in one form or another, gave her the same curt response he gave the other woman who ventured. "Love is an illogical emotion, Cadet"

Before the Orion could answer one of his top students arose and asked permission to comment, what she said, or rather how she said it with such confidence in her opinion gave him pause, this almost never happened. In perfect Vulcan she stated "I apologies if I seem insubordinate but I think you are wrong commander. I know love is more like a sickness that effects the brain and all the chemistry behind it but the answer to if love is logical is not really all that complicated." She paused, Spock raised a brow, she had gotten his attention. "Love, commander is an emotion but the emotion is the brains way of telling us not to protest against our natures. We must find partners that we are comfortable enough with to mate with and thus produce offspring insuring the continuation of our species; we are not animals that mate only by force of nature or habit. " Spock did not agree, nor did he disagree outright he simply stated "very well argued cadet, I… respect… your opinion" After class she asked to further debate this topic, Spock, unaccustomed to his students be genuinely interested in class discussions complied.

That evening Spock went to his quarters to meditate and found that his young cadet had 'gotten under his skin' as his students say. Now four months later he found himself in his office preparing to go home to his new off campus living quarters. He was expecting a visitor, his former student who was now his assistant, with her eyes, voice, walk and imperfect perfections, Nyota Uhura was coming for dinner, to cook him dinner, a bet he had lost. They had become, cordial acquaintances in the past few months and over a game of chess she had bet him that if he won she would cook him dinner, if she won then he would cook for her, it had seemed harmless to begin with, Nyotahad said she wanted to test her skills of Vulcan cusine.

Perhaps it was her smile, when he greeted her at the door that set the mood for the evening, her hair was different, it was loose and flowing in thick waves, smelling of lavender shampoo. She carried a bag containing 1 onion, butter, a bunch of carrots, celery, vegetable broth, cream, pepper, and salt. This promised to be much better than replicator food.

Sitting across from him with her bowl of Plomeek soup she looked as she did during an intense game of chess, contemplative, amused, he found her look, quite appealing. She did not call Vulcan food bland, though she used a considerable amount of salt and pepper in her bowl. She was polite, she spoke of, her home in Africa and he told her of his ancestral land on Vulcan, she appeared interested, this was pleasing. After dinner she began to ask questions, about Vulcan's, she was interested in mind melds she had researched them in preparatory school. She wanted to see how they felt, wanted to experience one for herself. "If you researched them you must know that they are extremely personal, and…intimate" he explained.

"Sort of like a kiss?" she asked with that quizzical expression. Spock felt… _tempted_. "I would not know, he said quietly" Nyota smiled, Spock noted that she seemed to glow when she smiled, what gave her such pleasure?" "For the sake of research" she began, so that you may better express a mind meld to someone like me, might I demonstrate a kiss for you?" For a moment Spock considered "with whom? He inquired innocently. "Commander, this is what we call being subtle, in others words I want to kiss you, if you do not take offense" "I am your superior" he replied

"It is illogical to state that which we both know commander" Nyota's skin looked flushed; Spock thought perhaps his home was too warm, he was aware that most humans preferred to be in cooler environments.

Looking at her skin, her eyes, listening to her speak, her unique emotionally charged Vulcan he decided to be logical and not deny the part of his nature that was human. "You may kiss me, if you wish. Only here, only now, if you assure me that you will keep this between you and me"

"Be assured professor, it is only a kiss"

He stood, with his hands behind his back, as she approached Spock felt an unfamiliar feeling… _apprehension_. She was close, almost touching him; this is when he noticed her scent, floral, spicy, pleasent. She stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his, Spock noticed her eyes were closed so he closed his as well, he began to feel warmer than usual. A soft moan escaped her lips Spock felt her hand on his neck. He felt his pulse quicken, her lips were unbelievably warm, soft, salty, he began to feel as if her were being pulled in. He stumbled back startled her lips were gone. She glared at him; she smiled "how did you find the experience?"

"Quit pleasant, agreeable, not quite a mind meld though, I think I would like to try it again some time, if you do not take offense" Spock replied, feeling quite satisfied by the experiance.


	2. I with Thine

Not that complicated

He had insisted on escorting her back to campus after dinner, she had laughed, she was unusually talkative, she had seemed nervous. When Spock had asked why she told him that she had not anticipated that a game of chess would lead to a date. Spock was taken aback a little since she had considered this a date what did that entail?

Sleep did not come easy for him that night, things felt complicated.

At work, she was his assistant, during the academic term she was his student, and she behaved as so. But what was she now? He had allowed her to get closer to him than any other human, or Vulcan for the matter. Spock lay in bed awake for several hours contemplating the logic behind his actions, this was highly unusual. _It is illogical to act against our natures_. It was most assuredly his human nature that seemed to have needed to express itself. Spock needed to speak, and have someone listen without trying to prove him wrong or find fault with his logic. Humans found him to be too logical while Vulcan's had always deemed him not Vulcan enough and because he had declined admission to the Vulcan science academy nothing would ever change that. Spock found these truths shameful, for they went against his entire Vulcan beliefs. At twenty six years of age he felt that his life held more contradictions than facts, even his existence was a contradiction, human blood was Iron based, Vulcan blood copper based, it was illogical that the two opposing elements could mix, yet he lived. He would never disclose that he felt trapped in the middle of two worlds, and neither accepted him fully, it was unnerving and lonely to forever be an outsider. She understood, as his mother had understood, she knew of his Vulcan ways, and appeared to appreciate them. She experienced the human condition with which he struggled. Nyota, who had kissed him, brought the things he wanted to conceal to the surface, she spoke, emotionally logical, she understood, she was unlike anything he had ever encountered, she was… fascinating.

The next morning went like any other, he awoke at 05:00 pulled on a wool sweatshirt, thick cotton pants, and running shoes, he jogged the 2.5 miles to campus and back, all the while he contemplated. _Would she tell? Amuse her friends by telling them how she had seduced the Vulcan into a kiss? Maybe it had been a mistake, letting her into his home in the first place. He was perplexed by the whole situation, torn between two ideals of how things would progress. He thought it was illogical to dwell on things that may never come to pass and decided to put the matter out of his mind for good. _

When he returned home he showered, meditated, and ate a sufficient breakfast, it was then that he noticed it, her data pad. Picking it up from the countertop he noticed it contained the recipe for Plomeek soup, he thought that perhaps he would take it to her, since she had become his assistant he saw her on a regular biases. Maybe he would not take it, if he left it maybe she would come for it, it seemed a logical way to have her company without seeming overtly interested.

He arrived at his office at precisely 06:30 as he did every morning. When Nyota arrived an hour later, she smiled "Good morning Commander", "Cadet" he nodded. The day went as it always did, Nyota working on translations while he busied himself with programming the latest flight simulator.

After an hour of dead silence Nyota spoke "Commander I enjoyed the meal at your home, among other things" She spoke quietly and looked at the ground. "I also think I would like to visit you again sometime, I think we can say we are friends, but here you are a commander and I am a cadet, and your assistant, we must behave as if that is all there is to our relationship, for the sake of my future at this academy and yours." Spock who had been listening attentively to her unique Vulcan raised an eyebrow and replied " Your logic is sound, it pleases me, I would also be pleased if you would visit again, at your earliest convince, possibly this evening, you left your data pad in my home." Nyota smiled, Spock decided her smile was very appealing.

"Yes, I believe that would be appropriate, I will be there at 1800 hours." She spun around and returned to her station; Spock found it very appealing when she spoke so very logically.

He had anticipated her arrival for the rest of the day, when he went home he meditated; he wanted to suppress his human emotions and illogical actions, especially since she was coming. He was in a completely calm, trancelike state when her herd her chime, he had lost track of time.

Her hair was loose, this time it was full or curls that reached the middle of her back. She wore a white t shirt the hugged her delicate figure, she wore a long, grey cotton skirt. The scent of lavender and almond hung in the air around her. This thorough analysis took 2.5 seconds as he stood in the door way. "Good evening Spock, my t'hy'la." She greeted, smiling as always. Spock looked taken aback by what she had called him first she had said his name, not commander and secondly she had said t'hy'la meaning soul mate in Vulcan. She caught herself, "Sorry I think I meant to say t'hai'la, friend" Spock nodded "Cadet, please come in."

She carried a bag, "I am going to make you dinner" she said holding up a large brown bag, "please accept". Spock had not eaten since lunch and due to his intense meditation he had not eaten since arriving at home, he was slightly hungry "If you allow me to assist you that would be acceptable"

Nyota smiled and found her way to the kitchen; from the bag she took a clear bag that seemed to contain some sort of seeds, an onion, garlic, and another clear bag that contained small red lentils. "Spock I need the same pot which I prepared the soup in yesterday" Spock handed her the pot, which she began to fill with water. "Your hair is different" Spock commented as she placed the pot on the heat source. "Well, nothing is really different; I washed it and decided not to straighten it, do you like it?" Her question was innocent enough but he was not going to comment on how he felt about her hair "I think this style suits you" he replied. Nyota smiled pouring the lentils into the boiling water. "I need a knife, butter, and a small pan" Spock collected what she had asked for and put them beside her bag. "Spock, you must call me Nyota when we are here, it really is not suitable to call by my rank when we are alone, away from campus, engaging in activities that a cadet and commander do not normally engage in" Spock considered this for amount before say "If you wish, Nyota"

Nyota thought his voice sounded deeper when he said her name, she put the butter in the pan and melted it, she diced the onion and put it in to the pan with the melted butter. "Did you enjoy the Plomeek soup?" Nyota inquired wanting to break the silence. "It was pleasing, Nyota" He liked the way her name sounded when he said it. "Engaging in activities that a cadet and commander do not normally engage in? I do not see anything unethical about sharing a meal" he said as Nyota poured cumin seeds in the small pan, "Spock, was I dreaming or did I not kiss you last evening" she said washing her hands "Well yes, Spock said, why did you want kiss me?" "For the sake of research of course" she smiled turning to face him, "Remember?"Spock's memory was perfect so he assumed her question was not rhetorical "Nyota, you kissed me because you wanted to, why did you want to?" Nyota looked thoughtful, "Hmm… I think the ancient poet P.B. Shelly explained it best, and I shall employ his ideology of a kiss to explain it to you, may we sit, dinner will not be too much longer" Spock showed her to the seating area, there was a short round table, three gray chairs in the small dim room, there was a shelve of candles, a Vulcan harp, and a chess board. Nyota sat in a large chair across from the chair Spock had chosen. Nyota leaned back in the chair and gazed at Spock, she looked serine,

"The fountains mingle with the river and the rivers with the ocean

The winds of heaven mix for ever, with a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single, all things by a law divine

In one another's being mingle­ _Why not I with thine?_

See the mountains kiss high heaven, and the waves clasp one another

No sister-flower would be forgiven, If it disdain'd its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth, and the moonbeams kiss the sea­

What are all these kisses worth, _if thou kiss not me?_

_This_ Spock, is why I wanted to kiss you, to in a way connect with you"

Spock took a moment trying to absorb the meaning of such emotionally charged language, he could not. But he knew that it must be of great feeling because though he had heard the poem before he had never heard is spoken in the impassioned way that Nyota had. "I am sorry", Spock looked down at the ground, "I do not think that I understand…" She looked disappointed

"It is ok she said, I think dinner is almost ready, She went to the kitchen mixing the onions in with the lentils, as she turned to get the bowels she was startled by Spock standing in the entrance of the kitchen. "I want to understand, Nyota, come sit with me once more." Back in the sitting room her brought their chairs close together, "Give we your hand" Nyota placed her hand into his warm palm, he traced her finger with his before pressing his finger tips to hers, recite the poem once more" Nyota felt something like electricity between their fingertips, she recited the poem once more, when she finished Spock glared at her, "I think… I understand", he said in a low voice, he had felt something he had never felt before with the words she spoke, desire, affection, it was overwhelming to him to absorb such emotions. "The connections within our worlds are very complimentary; I should think, by what I felt, that you find me as a compliment to yourself?" He said, still recovering from her emotions

"Yes, t'hy'la" she replied, he looked at her, wondering if she knew what she was acquiring with this assertion. He wanted to try it, once he was kissed, now he felt the urge to kiss her in that way that made her feel so strongly. He closed the distance between them, pushing her palm to his, her fingers to his fingers, she met his lips in a soft, delicate kiss, her lips felt warm, even to him, so he pressed farther, experiencing the rush she felt, he did not want to stop, but felt himself unable to breath, he released her, unable to look at her he looked down at their still connected fingers, he felt that he had gained a friendship, that was not an ordinary one, she had called him her soul mate.

A/N, Please let me know what you think, I am really new to this.


	3. Guess who’s coming to dinner

_Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING… except for Etana, created her all by myself... yay me!_

Spock normally found humans to be _unfathomable_, most of their actions are completely emotional, their logic, quit breakable. Nyota agreed that most male humans were, emotionally and biologically, driven and primitive at best, this is why she admired the discipline of the Vulcan male. Spock found it curious that a human female would admire the sometime brut honesty of a Vulcan.

After several months of dinners at his home, early morning jogs together, and debating topics of the day, Spock was beginning to wonder if he were not consenting to a relationship that was more than platonic in nature. Nyota had kissed him several times over the past two months; it was not that he disliked her display of affection he just thought… Perhaps he should mention T'Pring, his bond mate. He sometimes wondered about the woman that would be his wife, he was aware of her disdain for his _disadvantage_, and that her family only agreed to the bonding out of reverence for his father and perhaps out of pity. T'Pring was always with him, in his conscience but it was as if she were locked behind a door to which he had no access. No, he would not mention her, he had at least two years before the idea of their union would become an issue, perhaps he could meditate through that time as he had done five years ago, this was the more preferred option.

Where did Nyota fit in this equation? They were _friends _they may part ways upon her graduation from the academy, she may lose interest, once he was no longer curiosity. Again Spock had to pull himself out of useless predictions that were illogical and a waste of time. He had plans to meet with Nyota at a restaurant they had visited a few weeks ago; there was someone she wanted him to meet.

When Etana met Nyota at the landing pad she could not help but notice how grown up her little sister looked, her long black hair pulled into an efficient ponytail, she was wearing her red cadet uniform, black stockings, and boots. She stood erect, as if at attention, when she spotted Etana her stoic façade broke "Etana! salamu dada yangu" Nyota called out rushing to hug her sister "it has been far too long, we have a lot of catching up to do, we will go put your things away then grab a bite to eat, I know a great place and there is someone I want you to meet."

It had been almost a year Since Nyota had visited her family; Starfleet was her main focus, even during the month in between sessions Nyota remained at school, preparing for the next term of classes. Nyota had promised to visit, at the end of the current term however her parents were worried and decided that her older sister should pay a visit to the academy and make sure the baby of the family was doing as well as she was expected to be doing.

When they arrived at the dormitory Etana noticed how immaculate her sisters side of the room looked "wow Ny, you never kept your room this neat when you shared a room with me" Nyota smiled "you could say I have grown up a little" Nyota changed out of her uniform and into a black tank and gray slacks, "not much for color are you?" her sister commented

The restaurant was small and quiet, Nyota picked a seat close to the entrance, "shall we get a menu?" asked Etana

"Let's wait… I am expecting someone to join us, a surprise…"

"You know I don't like surprises, what's up?"

"Etana I want to tell you about a guy, who I have… taken an interest in." Etana perked up "really!?"

Nyota was not the type to casually date, meeting guys was easy, but finding them interesting enough to hold a conversation with was not.

"Well yes, he was professor of mine but now I am doing an independent study this semester and currently working as his assistant …

"You are an assistant? You don't need to work, if you needed anything…"

"No, no, I took the assistantship because I wanted the experience, I work on translations for him, I am able to practice my language skills while becoming familiar with the higher ups at Starfleet, anyway, the Commanders name is Spock Etana eyed her sister quizzically "That Vulcan professor you told me about?"

"That's the one" Nyota smiled. Etana sucked in her breath and looked down at the table

"I am a little surprised honestly, you are smart enough to know this is probably a bad idea, and to risk you reputation at the academy for a School girl crush on a Vulcan, who can't really feel anything for you is, as the Vulcan could tell you, Illogical." Etana studied her sister's face, she looked upset, even at 21 she had that pout.

"Etana, I am sure that you think that I am just a love struck student hot for the young Professor, it's not like that, The Commander is really interesting… 'Fascinating' as he would say. I admire him for is mental fortitude and find him intellectually… stimulating. There is a depth there that I want to explore and that is Spock, really; a continuously unfolding mystery" Etana watched Nyota for a moment, her eyes bright with excitement as she spoke of this Spock, she thought that maybe she should state the obvious,

"Ny, he's an Alien, of course he's interesting"

"Actually" Nyota began, sounding a little annoyed "he is half Vulcan, his mother is human. Anyway keep your voice down, we have to be… discreet the last thing I want to do is compromise his or my own position at the academy"

"Well…"Etana began in a hushed voice "how does one fall for a Vulcan...er… half Vulcan, I mean it would be like being with a robot, all facts and statics but what about the spontaneity and romance? There is no emotion"

Nyota did not know whether to be upset by the blatantly offensive remarks or amused by her older sister's lack of knowledge of Vulcan's and their emotions.

"Well, Etana, that is where I come in, Spock and I can relate perfectly on a logical level and I like to think that I bring the spontaneity and all, not to worry, the emotion is there, you just have to look for it, and technically we are just friends, for now…"

Etana stared at her sister, little Nyota, always so logical, serious, studious… perhaps it is not such a surprise.

"So where is he?" Etana asked

"I wanted us to get here early so that I could… prepare you before you met him, please try not to offend him and do not try to shake his hand, now… big smile, he just walked in"

A/N: Please tell me what you think!


	4. Dinner: Awkward

Uhura had said that she wanted him to meet her sister; Spock did not see the rationale behind this since her sister was not affiliated with the academy and it was unlikely that he would meet her again. Her sister was a chemist turned cosmetologist; Spock found this profession to be a most insignificant one. Nevertheless he had agreed it seemed that accepting Nyota's invitation would be pleasing to her and as irrational as it was, he had agreed on that basis.

When he entered the restaurant, Spock noticed Nyota right away; she smiled and waved him over. The woman she was sitting with could not go unnoticed; her short curly hair was a deep burgundy, she wore a substantial about of makeup, and her lips were the same hue as her hair. As Spock approached the table Nyota gestured to the empty chair next to her "Please sit commander, as you must have inferred, this is my sister, Etana. "Hello Commander, it is my pleasure" smiled Etana, Spock nodded "Welcome to Philadelphia, Nyota has spoken of you often," as Spock took his seat Etana smiled coyly"Well, I am Sorry that I can I cannot say the same, Commander." Nyota sighed, and tried not to seem as annoyed as she was "Let's order, Etana, you must be hungry"

When their meals were brought to the table, Spock noticed Etana glare at his Cabbage soup, she seemed uneasy, she was holding her breath. Nyota looked at Spock apologetically, "perhaps you should have ordered the asparagus…"

"For what reason" Spock asked still looking at Etana "Is cabbage soup…offensive?"

"Actually, it is, I have never been able to stomach the smell of Cabbage, even when I was little the smell of my mother's steamed cabbage made me severely nauseous"

Spock tilted his head "Your repulsion to the odor of this particular vegetable is highly illogical since this cabbage is for eating not smelling, the purpose of the cabbage is not to be aromatically pleasing."

"Quite true, however that does not change the fact that I cannot eat while smelling… that" Etana pointed at the lumpy green liquid in the bowl.

Spock looked at Nyota, whose face seemed flushed "What solution do you suggest?" he inquired.

Nyota looked at Spock, then at Etna's pale face, then back at Spock "Food is not only for eating, for humans…for us food is only partially about taste, the smell, presentation and overall atmosphere contributes greatly to the dining experience, where as for you, food is for only for sustenance."

Spock considered Nyota's comments and realized that though he had long observed human behavior he still could not fully comprehend them.

"Very well, I suppose I would find the asparagus to be acceptable as well" Spock said. Nyota smiled, he found her smile as pleasing as always and understood that she was grateful.

Spock thought of this dinner as a cultural experience but he found it difficult to carry on a conversation with their guest. Nyota seemed content with him there so he decided to make an effort to talk, and seem interested. It was so easy to talk to Nyota when they were alone, being with her, and someone else was…uncomfortable and Etana was quit curious.

"Commander Spock, Nyota tells me that you are part Vulcan, Part human…" Etana said as she poked at her salad.

"That is correct" Spock said, a question he had answered many times before.

"I thought that was impossible, when I was studying chemistry we did a type of experiment on interspecies progeny… I cannot actually remember all of the details, I do recall that human DNA was considered incompatible with Vulcan DNA… am I mistaken?" Etana glanced up at Spock; her eyes were identical Nyota's eyes, they were large and brown but somehow when Nyota looked at him her eyes seemed more intense and illuminated in comparison. Spock contemplated Etana's question, he was unsure of how to answer something he too wondered about on occasion.

"I suppose you already know the answer to your question, note the fact that I am here. Without going in to great detail, this concludes that human DNA joined with Vulcan DNA, producing an offspring is not a complete failure, if it were I would not exist"

"I suppose you are correct" Etana retorted, attempting Spock's vacant glare. She wondered if there really was more to him than this. "It is hard to believe that you are partly human, on the surface anyway, you appear absolutely Vulcan.

Etana's comment pulled at Spock, it was something that was unnerving, his blatant denial of his mother by his choice to honor the Vulcan way.

Nyota noticed his clinched jaw, the way his eyes looked, sad, although his expression was the same blank slate as always.

Nyota was first to speak after an awkward silence "I would take that as a compliment Etana, Vulcan's are a very complex species with a rich culture and history"

Etana stared at Nyota "You've got it bad little sis" she muttered, Nyota sighed and glanced sideways at Spock.

Spock wondered what it was that Nyota _had_ that her sister was referring to but since the comment was directed specifically to Nyota, it was likely none of his concern.

The rest of the dinner went better than Nyota had expected, once she got her sister talking about how chemistry related to what Etana called the _art of adornment_ Spock and Etana were able to have a lengthy conversation without offending one another too much.

Nyota was relieved when the meal was over, it had been stressful and awkward but she felt a sense of accomplishment none the less. As they left the restaurant, Nyota wished Spock a pleasant evening as she always did. Spock watched as the two women left in their hover-car. Momentarily he recalled the last dinner he had shared with Nyota and how different their farewell had been, buttoning his jacket he pushed the memory of her soft affections out of his mind and walked home.

**********

The following morning Nyota woke up earlier than she normally did on a Saturday, she glanced at Etana snoring loudly across the room, she would be asleep for at least another two hours. Nyota showered and dressed, trying not to wake her sister. Nyota tried to study but the sound of Etana's snoring made it impossible, she decided to go for a jog.

Out of habit she jogged once around the campus and the 2.5 miles to the small apartment complex, she stopped outside the gate and stretched. Looking up at his window she wondered if she should visit, Spock would be awake, probably meditating, or reading, possibly grading those assignments that she had compiled for him the day before.

When Spock answered the intercom that morning he was not expecting Nyota, or anyone else for that matter. "Spock, it is me, Nyota, I was just jogging and thought I would stop by, may I come up?"

Normally she would message him before coming, for her to show up unannounced was highly unusual. "Yes Nyota, that would be acceptable" he responded.

When the door opened, Nyota stood for a moment without entering. Spock looked different, he wore black cotton pants and a blue t-shirt, his hair was wet, Nyota guessed he had recently showered. "Nyota, do you intend to come in" Spock asked.

"Sorry, I was just thinking that I never saw you this way, you seem so… relaxed." Nyota said as she entered the apartment.

"I was not expecting company; it is logically for one to be comfortable in their home. I was just making tea, would you care for a cup?" Spock asked as he entered the kitchen.

"That would be nice" Nyota said taking a seat in the large gray armchair she favored.

Nyota thought that Spock's home was comfortable, of course there was not a lot of color but the muted hues did have a calming effect. When Spock returned with the tea he sat in the chair closet to her. "Spock, I am sorry about my sister's behavior last night..." She began as she took a sip of tea.

"You do not need to apologies for behavior that was not your own Nyota, besides; I understand that her behavior is not unlike many human females" Spock leaned back in his chair, Nyota thought he looked tired.

"Well, she has the tendency to speak without thinking so I thought I should say something about it. For instance when she said that it was hard to believe that you were half human, how would she know? She just met you, maybe you were not offended, but I was." Nyota said looking down at the cup in her hand.

Spock put his cup down and looked at Nyota, his face held no expression. "Nyota, what do you think? Can you _tell_ that I have mixed genetics?"

"Yes," Nyota smiled, "Your eyes are human eyes, and they tell how you are feeling even though you do not betray your emotions outwardly. Sometimes, I feel as if you want to smile, or laugh, or become angry, you must feel these human emotions but are unable to express them. This must be difficult, even if you do not admit it. Sometimes you let me in, you let me connect to you, other times you find it easier not to. I understand, this is normal, all things considered."

"May I confide in you Nyota?" Spock asked Nyota looked into his eyes; he looked vulnerable, needy even.

"Of course t'hai'la" Nyota responded wanting to reach out and hold his hand, but she restrained herself.

"Humans often find it hard to believe that I am equally human and Vulcan, this is something I have encountered many times at Starfleet, and I am often not bothered by it, but sometimes I am. What is most… displeasing is that even my mother must feel this way, though she has never verbalized this to me. She is a human female. Like you she has always tried to understand me but for her it is difficult I know." Spock looked at Nyota; her eyes looked like his mothers often did when he would not hug her as a child."

The human female was an emotional species, his mother often tried to hide her emotions, but there were things that he had to see. He could not tell her that he loved her, and at first this made her sad, and she would respond only by telling him again and again, hoping he would pick up the habit, but he never did. There were no good night kisses, or hugs goodbye on the first day of school. She did not see him laugh, or smile, or express that indeed he was part of her, half human. Spock's father had made clear from the beginning who and what he was to become. Spock's mother cried often, as any mother who had seldom seen happiness on the face of her only child would.

And this is how Nyota looked now… as if she were about to cry.

**A/N: Please review! This is my first fanfic story so I hope it's not too sloppy. I am going it alone, beta free, so please disregard the typos. **


	5. A real kiss

Excepth for Etana....I own nothing!!!

She was not going to cry, she would not allow it, crying would be illogical and futile, Spock would say so at least. Nyota considered what he had said and came to the conclusion that for him, this was a big step, he was being open, and about his mother of all things; perhaps she should be happy about that. Spock was indeed a very complicated man, but did he think that she could not handle it; maybe he needed to be reassured. Nyota looked at Spock, he looked at the floor, and neither spoke for quite some time.

Nyota stood and began to pace the small room. "Spock, I studied Vulcan at the language institute back home for two years and as you might recall I took both your Vulcan history and culture classes. We are both familiar with the Vulcan side of things, and I am not intimidated by it."

His eyes trailed her as she moved about the room. "There is nothing to be intimidated about Nyota." He replied.

Nyota turned to face him, "there is the human element to consider Spock. It is there, and you cannot ignore it, it's not going to go away… and I don't think you really want it to, be honest with yourself."

Spock thought about humans and their uninhibited emotions, they were indeed honest with themselves. Part of him admired their freedom to act on their impulses, but he also felt that always acting merely on impulse was illogical and primitive in nature.

"I do not ignore my human nature, I control it Nyota"

"Spock" she whispered moving toward him "It is part of human nature to sometimes lose control. You might find it pleasing if you tried it." She perched on the arm of his chair, she lifted her hand and brushed her fingertips over his ear, down his cheek and across his lips, she caught him by surprise.

A/N: Yup the T'Pring issue must be addressed. Thanks to my reviewers you are awesome!...well... not as awesome as Spock but.... good enough!

Instinctively Spock flinched at the sudden sensation her fingers drew from his lips; similar to an electrical current and far more intimate than she must have intended. Spock quickly rose from his seat is dark eyes fixed on her, she looked as surprised as he felt, her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide and anxious "I…I am sorry…" she began as she stood to meet his gaze. Once again, so close that he could feel the heat that radiate from her body. Spock thought to turn away from her, he was conflicted once again, he was content with her presence yet it made him oddly tense.

Then, again she touched him, she embraced him, pulling him close, she pressed her body to his and rested her head on his chest. Spock closed his eyes knowing there would be nothing to gain from resisting her embrace. He drew his arms around her, absorbing her warmth, her scent, feeling the rise and fall of her breath as he held her.

"Nyota, What do you require?"

Pulling away she looked up at him; did he really want to know what she wanted of him? Would he even understand if she told him?

She decided to try at least, to explain that she only wanted the most that he could possibly give to her, whatever that was.

Nyota heaved a heavy sigh. "I have never been in a relationship before. I never wanted to be tied to anybody or to have to deal with their issues on top of my own. People can be so dishonest, unfaithful, and self serving, to enter into a relationship knowing this and expecting to be happy would be foolish… illogical."

"Yes" Spock said raising an eyebrow "uncouth behavior is common, especially among human males, but I fail to see how this relates to the question I asked, for I am not…the typical human male"

"Spock, I will be as direct as I can. Things are stagnate right now, I keep pushing you further but you don't seem to get it… you do not understand…"Nyota looked at him, wanting him to say something to validate how she felt.

"Nyota" he spoke so softly that she could hardly hear him. "I do understand I am not so out of touch with my emotions as you think. I have observed the courtship of humans, I see the interactions, I do understand. If it would please you, I will do my best to accommodate your need for this. You must be patient however and do not be disappointed if I fail. I may cause you discomfort at times, but it will not be intentional. You must understand my limits. I…_need_ you to accept what I am, there are things that you may observe about me that you must not reveal to others, even a friendship requires great loyalty and privacy. However I have concluded that this is more than a friendship."

When Spock finished speaking he waited for Nyota to respond. She looked at him, she looked contemplative but she did not say anything.

Spock thought that yet again she might cry, which would be odd since she did not look angry or displeased, her eyes however did seem to be filled with tears. She turned away, her back to him "Spock, this is very acceptable, I am pleased." She said composing herself, she willed herself to not be overly emotional; it would surely make him uncomfortable. When she turned to face him she smiled and tried to think of something more to say…words felt useless so she draped her arms around his shoulders and drew him in, his lips were unusually warm as they met hers, she kissed him longer than she normally did. The times that she had kissed him before were just that… _she_ had kissed _him, _this time however she was sure that she felt him kiss her in return.

**********

When Nyota arrived back to her dormitory she found Etana leaning back on the edge of the spare bed trying the squeeze into a pair of her pants. "Nyota!" She exclaimed, "We are almost the same size again, can I borrow these?" Nyota felt too care free to be bothered, though those were her favorite jeans and she knew they would probably go home Etana.

"Sure" She said as she sighed and flopped down on her bed. Etana eyed her suspiciously "Where have you been all morning" she said slowly.

"I was over a friend's house" she smiled and winked at her sister. Etana stared at her sister, _this is not right_ she thought to herself.

"You were with that man… the Vulcan…at his home?

"Yes…"

"When I woke up, you were gone, did you leave last night or this morning" Etana asked. Nyota was slightly amused. "What are you implying" she said still smiling.

Etana looked shocked, she was speechless at first, she moved to sit on Nyota's bed.

"Nyota, maybe I sat a bad example for you." She said quietly "I was young and made mistakes, please tell me you are not doing the same… mom and dad have so much invested in you" she began to raise her voice "Please…tell me you are not _sleeping_ with you superior, who you work for… you _cannot_be that naïve." Etana was practically screaming now.

Nyota was the one nobody ever worried about, she did not break the rules, she was a star student, and never stayed out past curfew… she never even went out.

Nyota, who had been too shocked to interrupt her sister reached out and touched her hand

"Etana, you do not have to worry about me, neither do mom and dad. I am not a child anymore, I know right from wrong. I do not need anybody thinking that I am having sex with professors or sleeping through my classes, lest of all, my sister. So no, I am not sleeping with him; I am still the unspoiled maiden that nobody ever lets me forget that I am. He kissed me today, ok… really kissed me and that is all. Believe it or not I am thrilled, so please don't ruin it for me."

Etana Smiled at her sister and sighed, "I am Sorry for jumping to conclusions, I just do not want anyone taking advantage of you, you are still my little sister."

Nyota smiled, still a little annoyed at her sisters accusations however the idea of doing more than kissing Spock was a very stimulating thought.

"Let me get out of my workout cloths, we will go grab a bite to eat and after that I will give you the grand tour of the academy." Nyota said hoping to avoid any more questions about her and Spock.

**********

Spock sat in his office Monday morning, thinking of his cadet who would be arriving in exactly thirty minutes. He had decided that if it was his honesty that she admired then he wanted to be completely honest, he would have to talk to her about T'Pring.


	6. The talk

*I own nothing*

They had about an hour in his office alone, before students and faculty showed up. When Nyota arrived she smiled and greeted him, she began her work as she always did, she was professional.

Spock stood and walked to the door of his office, pushing the button to close the door he "Nyota, I need to speak with you about a personal matter" he explained.

"I am pleased with you, in relation to this…relationship"

Nyota smiled "I am pleased with you as well"

"Nyota, you know of the Vulcan culture, I am sure you have heard of Koon-ul."

"Well, I am aware of the meaning of the word, it translated to 'the joining'… usually meaning the joining between…" Nyota's words trailed off as she stepped back from him, her eyes fixed on him.

"Nyota, you must not feel…offended, it is not an issue that…"

"I should have known" Nyota grumbled more to herself than to Spock.

He moved closer to her, Spock thought that she seemed to respond more favorably to him when they were in close proximity, You must know I had no say in the matter, it is an honored Vulcan tradition, My father arranged it when I was only a child and…"

"Why didn't you tell me before?" She snapped trying to keep her voice down.

"I had anticipated your reaction, however…"

"So you knew I would be upset, so you waited until now to tell me that you are engaged. I must say that was not a logical decision."

"Not exactly…you see I have not seen or spoken to T'Pring since I was seven…"

"I actually do not need to know her _name_ Spock. Anyway, what am I for, just a distraction until you go off to marry her?"

"Nyota, you are being irrational" Spock stated, his voice harsh. "Now if you would stop interrupting me, I would explain my intentions"

Nyota did not interrupt; _did he actually sound angry?_

"It is not impossible for the Koon – ul to be broken, this is something to consider" he was once again calm and collected.

Nyota regarded him momentarily; it was unfathomable, looking at him, to think that he could ever lose control, be angry, or happy, or anything other than impenetrably blank. Yet it was there, in his eye on occasion when he regarded her, when they were alone and he seemed confused or nervous, beneath his cold unfeeling exterior was raw primal emotion.

"What are you considering… in regards to your _mate_?" Nyota inquired having collected her thoughts and deciding to attempt to understand her boyfriend having a fiancée.

"If I decline the union she will simply have to find another and considering what I have been told of her preference for another, this will be quit an easy task for her. Logically .I must inform the appropriate parties regarding this at the appropriate time of course, but for now, let us be content with what we have presently.

"But she is still your fiancée, until the 'appropriate time' at least; I am not content with that Spock."

"It is tel-tor; bonded through a mind meld, though we are bonded I have never felt her presence, nor has she felt mine, I have not offered it to her. P'pil'lay, the official severing of our link can happen automatically… if one of us were to die. Otherwise it is a ceremony where we perform an adalau, where we are then formally released from our bond."

Nyota considered this; it seemed as if there was no easy way out of a Vulcan engagement.

"What if you were to 'bond' with someone else while still bonded to her. Would it then be broken?"

Spock had never considered this before. "It does appear that logically one can only be bonded to one mate at a time, a new bond should by default dissolve the previous one. It is something that I will inquire about on my next visit to Vulcan as it is a very delicate matter and is also dependant on how things progress here. Be assured Nyota, I have harbor no affection for her, my t'hai'la, only you", Spock spoke in the calm monotone that held no emotion as always yet his words suggested otherwise, Nyota could not hide the pleasure it gave her for him to admit to feelings for her.

"I knew dating a Vulcan would be complicated" Nyota said kissing him lightly on the cheek "but I honestly had no idea." Nyota glanced at the PADDs at her work station and realized that she had not started on her translations for the day and now, thanks to T'Pring she would likely be distracted the rest of the day. She would have to learn to completely separate her professional and personal relationship with Spock as he had managed to do so well. Spock opened the door to his office, it was still early and there was not usually a lot of activity in the office before 9 o'clock. Still, it would be highly inappropriate for him to be in his office with a female cadet with the door closed.

Taking her seat Nyota was lost in thought, she could not help but contemplate the situation she found herself in. She was extremely bothered by the revelation of T'Pring but there was nothing that could be done. Either she accepted their bond, temporally and 'be content with what they had' or she could postpone investing herself in the relationship until he was able to dissolve the bond. Maybe she was overreacting, Spock had said that he would 'try to accommodate' her need for a relationship in return for her to accommodate his way of being and who he was. They had only decided to try; to make an effort at a relationship. It dawned on her that there was no long term promise between the two of them as there obviously was with T'Pring, yet he seemed willing, even eager to be released from his bond. This was not something that was going to go away all by itself. Spock was right to wait, what if they failed? What if they could not compromise who they both were enough for a relationship? Maybe they could only be _t'hai'la;_ close friends and nothing more. Spock would have given up his bond for nothing; did his willingness mean that he thought that they could make a long term relationship, that he expected it? Nyota noticed that she had spent 15 minutes doing nothing, contemplating their relationship, over thinking the matter. She looked over at Spock immersed in his work, she envied his ability to stay so in control, even looking at him was starting to be a distraction.

Spock felt her gaze on him as he worked, he found it pleasant, and it meant that she was not upset anymore. When he looked up she smiled at him, she was beautiful it was a fact, yet her smile made her even more aesthetically appealing. Her hair was up, the way she always wore it to class and around campus, he imagined her long and flowing, like when she was at his home. Thinking of her at his home reminded him of her kisses, and the last time she kissed him when he ventured to kiss her in return, he wondered if she had enjoyed it.

* * *

Etana was bored, she found the campus to be interesting, the first time she saw it, now a week later it was as if all she did was sit in her sister's dorm and wait for her to come back from working or studying. She decided to go out, Nyota's roommate Gaila, who had been staying off campus with a 'friend' since Nyota had forbidden male visitors yet again had invited her to a party. Parties were not Nyota's thing; she occasionally went to a bar with friends, but not as often as she had before.

"Etana, I am not going, I don't even know those people." Nyota protested.

"Fine little sis, me and Gaila will go without you, you do not know what you are missing."

It was settled, Nyota would stay in on a Friday night while her older sister partied with her roommate.

Nyota studied for a few hours but found it hard to concentrate, wondering what her sister must be up to. At least maybe she was enjoying her last night at Starfleet. Nyota called Spock, she had not seen him for most of the week, Etana had kept her busy.

"Are you busy?"

"I am not, how are you Nyota?"

"I am well, why not come visit me?"

"Because, my entering the female dormitory would not go unnoticed, would you like to visit me at my home?"

"I would like that yes, however it is a bit late, will you meet me at the library? We can go for a walk; I would like to see you."

"Yes, if it would please you."

"It would, immensely"

"I will meet you in fifteen minutes"

When Nyota spotted Spock she noticed he was… overdressed as usual, she regretted making him walk out in the cold, she wanted to hold his hand, lean into him, anything a normal couple would. She had to remind himself that this was not a normal relationship.

They walked along the back road, it was dark and quiet, they were alone.

"How was your week Nyota?"

"A long week, it's nice to have a few days off."

"I do not believe the week was any longer than normal" Nyota stopped and turned to him.

"I hope that was a joke Spock"

He quirked his eyebrow "I believe it was a comment made in jest, humans often make such comments Nyota."

"Of course" Nyota smiled.

"Though I think it is illogical to state the obvious, I will. You are…quit beautiful, exceedingly so when you smile." Nyota looked at him, wondering how he could say something so charming, in such a flat tone.

"Spock that is the kindest thing you have ever said to me!"

"I was simply stating a fact Nyota"

Nyota thought perhaps he had made another joke, but he seemed sincere.

Nyota stood on her toes to kiss him. Spock was taken by surprise by her attempt to kiss him in public but he noted that indeed they were quit alone. As she pressed her lips to his there was a chirping sound, Nyota ground "Who could have such impossible timing?"

It was Gaila "Um… I think you should probably come get your sister, she has had a little too much and she is hanging all over Kirk… who has had a little too much and well… they might be headed out together if you don't come break them up.

Nyota looked at Spock and for a moment she wanted to tell Gaila that Etana would have to fend for herself, and then she recalled Kirk, the pushy, annoying cadet who seemed to have a thing for every girl he met.

"I am on my way" Nyota sighed

A/N: yup Etana is a bit of a wild child… please review… it makes me happy :D


	7. Stay

**I Own Nothing**

It was utterly embarrassing; when Nyota arrived she had no problem finding her sister. It was a familiar scene, Etana the beautiful, popular sister, the life of the party, dancing on the table.

"You came!" Etana squealed when she spotted Nyota. Pushing past her dance partner, Etana jumped off the table nearly falling face first into a bowl of fizzy green liquid. "Let's go" Nyota snapped catching her sister by the arm, "the last thing I need s you ruining my reputation." As Nyota steered her sister to the door someone grabbed Etana from behind. "Where are you headed pretty lady?" Nyota recognized his voice, "Down Boy." Nyota said turning to face the smug cadet who had not given up on trying to score a date with her in two years. "She is leaving Jim, and not with you"

"Uhura! Babe we could all leave together, you guys look like twins… or am I seeing double?"

"Hey…" mumbled Etana "You met my new friend, isn't he cute and look he's human!" She began to laugh hysterically. Nyota started to push Etana out of the building once again

"Ny! I wanna talk to my friends" Etana moaned loudly "I don't interfere with you and your alien boyfriend… oh wait… he's like a fourth human or something… wonder if he has an alien…" Nyota slapped a hand over her sister's mouth, cutting her off abruptly, people were starting to stare. "We are leaving now." She whispered through gritted teeth. Etana was not going out quietly.

"Why are you dragging me out of here like a child" Etana yelled wriggling out of her sister's grasp "I am having a good time! Just because you think you are so much better than me with your degree in …robot…alien languages or whatever and I hated chemistry, I always wanted to be a fashion designer. And I am never getting married …because I don't want to, so you and your celibate… vul…vul…" Etana paused, she looked pale. "I need air…" she began to wheeze. Jim who had been laughing the entire time like an idiot wrapped his arm around her waist "come right this way, we can get some are, get acquainted, all that good stuff."

Nyota began to protest when Etana who had laid her head on jims shoulder heaved, splattering Jim, herself, and anyone else within five foot radius. Nyota wanted to turn and leave, as if she had no idea who the girl throwing up in the middle of the room was. For a moment she hesitated, and then she went to her sister, cleaned her off and guided her out. It was dark and cold, but the cool night air felt good against Nyota's hot skin, she was mortified, nut perhaps not as embarrassed as her sister would be when she realized the lasting impression that she had made. As they walked home Nyota felt relieved, soon things would be back to normal, she would miss her sister, but it she had had enough of her to last until she went home after the next term.

* * *

He had allowed her to kiss him in public, where they could have easily been spotted by someone, yet he still did not regret it. In fact he was displeased when she had cut their visit short because of her inebriated sister. Her quick departure had left him feeling unfulfilled, he required more but how could he express this to her without her taking offense? Spock found this peculiar; it was as if his ability to think and act logically was being compromised by his need to manage his human desires. He was tense, it was biology he told himself, he recalled feeling this way once during his first year at Starfleet, meditation had worked then.

That night Spock stayed in meditation until it was dawn, then when he at last he felt calm, relaxed, and once again restrained, he sought sleep, an hour would be sufficient. While sleep cam easily enough, it was neither peaceful nor vitalizing.

He was dreaming, this was not out f the ordinary however he could not wake up, this was peculiar. In his dream he was on Vulcan, running, he was being chased by someone or something that he could not see. When he tried to look behind him he was blinded by a bright light, so he kept running.

_Why can I not will myself to awaken?_

He was barefoot; the sharp sand began to dig into his flesh. He wanted to stop, needed to stop. As the soles of his feet bled profusely he kept running he was getting closer. Someone was calling to him, a woman; she was crying "my son…my son…" He stopped, whatever had been chasing him had stopped, ahead of him was a dark cave from which he continued to hear the soft sobs. His feet ached but he struggled to the entrance of the cave, he could make out a human figure. The person was kneeling over something, something small wrapped in a bundle. He staggered towards the woman, she did not seem to notice him, she was crying harder now, Spock peered down at the bundle on the ground, it was a small child, its lifeless body swaddled in a dirty gray blanket, the woman looked up at him, her pale, tear streaked face looked familiar, "Mother?" The woman smiled "Hello my son." Suddenly the ground below them began to quake violently, he reached out to her but as soon as his hand touched hers the cave began to collapse, he ran, he saved himself, and then he woke up. Spock bolted up in bed, he looked about the room, it was still dark, it had only been 45.7 minutes but the nightmare had seemed to go on for hours. Perhaps he was sleep deprived, or he was becoming ill, such imaginings were not common to him, and they were quit unsettling.

Spock decided that a call to his mother was in order. He activated the video call, his mother liked to see him when they spoke, Spock thought that this was illogical since she already knew what he looked like yet he complied.

"Spock, hello my son, this is a very pleasant surprise."

"Mother, how are you?"

"I am well, as is your father, I wish you two would talk…how is the term going, I wish you had not elected to teach so many classes on top of doing those simulations and all, you look tired and I am sure you are not eating as well as you should be."

"The term is progressing well mother, I have several promising students. As you are aware I do not require a substantial amount of sleep, and I assure you that I consume enough nourishment to sustain myself, I am perfectly healthy.

His mother looked at him silently for a moment; she looked concerned, this was normal for her.

"Spock, I do wish you would visit soon, it has been too long…and you hardly call, I know it is not your habit to talk much, you must understand though that your mother requires this."

"Indeed mother I have been preoccupied as of late."

"Preoccupied?" His mother smiled "With _someone_?"

Spock thought about mentioning Nyota to his mother but it was a personal matter that he did not feel the need to discuss just yet.

"Human relationships are complicated mother" was all he said of the matter.

They talked more about school and how things were on Vulcan, she repeatedly mentioned his father but Spock quickly changed the subject. She kept him on the call longer than was necessary as usual; Spock wondered at privation that his mother seemed to have, he felt inclined to express his gratitude for her but found words to be as useless as always.

* * *

"Spock, it's me" Nyota Spoke into the intercom from outside the apartment unit.

"Please come in" Spock responded. Nyota had called him that morning, it had been a week since they had seen each other; Nyota had a lot of work to catch up on since she had neglected her studies while her sister had been present. Spock on the other hand had finished grading assignments, outlining next terms courses, reviewing the terms enrollment lists, reading _The Complete Works of Notable Terran Bards,_ and had composed two new compositions for the Vulcan Lute. He had not slept the entire week the nightmares persisted. A week is a long time to go without sleep, even for a Vulcan.

"T'hy'la, it feels as if we have not seen each other in so long" Nyota said entering the apartment.

"I assure you it has been exactly…"

"I know, I Know" Nyota smiled kissing him lightly on the cheek.

Nyota took off her coat; the weather had gotten considerably cooler over the week. Spock noticed her clothes were not her usual modest attire that she wore off campus. He regarded her, one eyebrow raised slightly, his eyes settled on the low neckline of her thin white top.

"Nyota, you look quit…stimulating this evening" he stated taking her coat from her.

"I had hoped you would like my new outfit, I went shopping yesterday, to give myself a break from working on that thesis" Nyota sighed taking a seat on the couch,

"I believe it is I that should be thanking you, for your…display" Spock retorted, raising both eyebrows.

Nyota giggled "Why do you do that with your eyebrows?"

"I am sure I do not know what you are referring to. I am pleased that you have come, I would like to show you something, if you will wait here a moment." Spock disappeared into the bedroom.

Nyota straightened her short black skirt and took a seat on the couch. The Skirt was shorter than she normally preferred but it did accentuate her legs rather nicely, even a Vulcan could appreciate that. When Spock returned he was carrying a large Harp like instrument.

"What is that" Nyota asked, wondering why he never mentioned that he could play an instrument.

"This…" Spock said taking a seat next to her on the couch. "..Is a Vulcan Lute, it is a common instrument on Vulcan, I find the melody of the Vulcan Lute to be quit soothing"

Nyota smiled "And you are going to play it for me?"

"Well, that is why I have brought it out" Spock replied, beginning to strum the strings lightly.

The melody started off slow and mournful, Nyota watched his long, thin fingers glide gracefully over the strings. The tempo picked up and transformed into a sweeping melody that sounded almost joyful. His eyes trailed over her body as he played but they did not meet hers. Nyota began to feel an unfamiliar intensity as his eyes caressed herm the song took on an entirely differently feeling that could only be described as passion. When the song ended Spock put down the lute and looked directly at her for the first time since he had started playing.

"Your opinion, Nyota?" Spock inquired, his dark brown eyes bore into hers.

Nyota shifted on the couch "It was, beautiful…intense, fervent really" she stammer, trying to find the right words.

Spock sat the instrument down beside the couch. "Nyota, I require…" He stopped, once again find words insufficient.

Nyota stared at him quizzically "Yes Spock… What do you need?"

He did not say anything, he just looked at her, he felt helpless, ashamed to make the request.

"I cannot read your mind Ashayam, you have to tell me" Nyota put her hand on top of his.

"Ashayam?" Spock said to himself, wondering if she really understood the deep meaning tied to the word. "Nyota, I would be pleased if you would stay here tonight, with me."

**A/N: **

**Will she or won't she? **_**I would…**_

**Please review; let me know it is worth continuing!**


	8. pleased

I Own nothing…except the dvd…Yay!

Nyota appeared puzzled at his request. She toyed with her hair, crossed and uncrossed her legs, she was actually nervous.

"Nyota, you may decline my offer, I will not take offence" Spock offered still eyeing her intently.

"No," Nyota reply quietly, "I do not intend to decline…to spend the night here, however I was wondering what you intended for us to do."

He sensed her hesitation, "Nyota, I only require your presence, and I would be pleased if you would remain here for the night."

"Is there a reason for your request, Ashayam?" Nyota asked

It was difficult to explain his human wants and needs, in fact could not explain them as he did not actually understand them completely. For one thing he was definitely curious, his desires were controllable yet they were still there, what if he allowed himself to indulge? Then there was the fact that he enjoyed having her around, that would be a simple explanation. It was simple, he wanted her there because sometimes he did not want to be alone, even a Vulcan could grow tired of solitude.

"Of course there is a reason" Spock answered as if that explanation enough. "I must comment the term Ashayam, is used between bond mates, and it is a deeper connection…"

"I know what it means Spock; you must realize that I do not have the ability to ignore my feelings. See how easy it is for me to say 'Spock I care about you, you are my friend, I appreciate you' while you may not be able to fully grasp my meaning it is enough for me to express my emotions verbally."

Spock regarded Nyota, he admired her honest expression, she was right, he could not tell her these things as easily as she had told him. Nyota did not deny her nature, but however logical it was, Spock could not bring himself to permit his human nature to manifest itself, he was not certain that he could control it if he did.

Spock was grateful that Nyota had decided to stay; he found that she as a pleasant distraction. They went out for dinner; Nyota's choice of attire provided them with more attention than they were accustomed to. Spock noted the primitive lack of control the men of her species seemed to have, they behaved as if she were the first attractive female that they had ever seen. Spock Wished she had opted for pants instead of her unreasonably short skirt, at least while they were in public.

When they returned t his apartment they spent the evening playing chess, comparing Vulcan and Terran Cultures, a topic Nyota enjoyed. Spock taught Nyota a few cords of his lute, until they realized, by way of the neighbor just how late it had gotten. "It is getting late" Nyota admitted she had actually been drowsy for some time but did not want to bring up the subject of sleeping arrangements, this was better left so Spock; he was the one who had invited her to stay in the first place.

"Nyota," Spock began, "My bed is very comfortable, you my sleep there, I will meditate, in this room tonight."

Nyota blinked at him, "You intend to meditate…all night?"

"Well, as of late I have not been sleeping very well, Meditation is the only way I am able to feel rested in the morning" Spock was aware that the effects of meditation were wearing off as he had become increasingly sleep deprived.

Nyota sighed, "If you say so… I guess I will see you in the morning then." Nyota kissed him lightly, hoping he would reciprocate or at least embrace her, he did not.

"Good night Spock" Nyota said as she left the room.

"Sleep well" Spock responded as he watched her make her way down the hall to his bedroom.

Nyota had never been in his bedroom before; the urge to snoop about was irresistible. The room was not very large, or overly decorated, it was however very neat. The bed was efficiently set with a dark blue comforter, Nyota could not help but notice that the bed itself was too large for the room it seemed, too large for just one person. In one corner of the room there was a bookcase with several books, Nyota translated what she could of the worn off titles, they all appeared to be works on the teachings of Surak or ancient scientific theory. There was a statue with some sort of light sitting on a shelf; it seemed to be some sort of deity. Peaking into the closet Nyota noticed his familiar black commander uniforms that hung neatly next to several sweaters and thick cotton pants. Folded neatly at the top were a few tee shirts and lounge pants. Nyota wondered if he would mind sharing them since she had not been prepared to spend the night she had nothing to wear. When Nyota went to ask about barrowing a shirt she found him meditating, he did not seem to notice her enter the room; he was in a peaceful, serine state, Nyota marveled at him momentarily before she remembered that Vulcan meditation was a largely private activity. She quietly returned to the bedroom, stripped out of her tight, uncomfortable clothes and pulled down one of the t-shirts, something fell out from under the stack of shirts. It was a small photograph it pictured a very happy, very human woman smiling with a little boy, he looked about five years old. The little boy was distinctively Vulcan Nyota though, pointy ears, slanted eyebrows, the whole bit, but he was actually frowning, this was quite unvulcan.

"That is my mother" Spock voiced interrupted her train of thought as she examined the picture, startled Nyota spun around, she had not heard Spock knock or even open the door. "She is beautiful." Nyota replied quickly, embarrassed for having been caught going through his things and because she was standing in front of him in her underwear. Spock lifted an eyebrow, "I take it you have found something comfortable to sleep in" he gestured at the shirt she was holding in her other hand.

"Yes, I did not want to disturb you so I just went ahead and…"

"It is not a matter of concern, Nyota" Spock interrupted taking the photo from her hand. In fact that is why I came, to offer you something to sleep in as your clothing seemed quit unacceptable, for sleeping."

Nyota quickly slipped on the t-shirt since he did not seem to notice that she was half naked.

"You must admit, it was an odd place to keep a photo Spock, I did not intent to pry" Nyota smiled wanting to ease the tension.

"It is not odd, my aim was to conceal it from anyone who may come into the room and find it in its normal place. As I live alone I do not often have to consider this, perhaps it was not the best hiding place."

"Understood" Nyota sighed.

Spock Paused, staring at her longer than he normally did. Standing in his shirt, her hair loose and tasseled she looked quite Vulnerable, he wanted to embrace her, she would feel reassured, content. It was as if she understood why he was still standing there, reaching up she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, his lips, his cheeks, his neck. Then she released him, far too soon. "I have to get some sleep Spock, thanks for the shirt" and turned to the bed.

Spock returned to his meditation while Nyota Snuggling into the covers trying to get comfortable, she found it difficult to fall asleep in a bed that was not her own. Spock found it difficult to meditate, not only was he too tired to will himself to concentrate now he had the image of Nyota in lacy white underwear to occupying his thoughts.

Nyota was just beginning to doze when she heard his voice again. "Nyota..., I apologize for waking you, I must sleep, if I could just take the extra pillow I will be fairly comfortable on the couch."

Nyota blinked at him trying the make out his figure in the darkened doorway, she then noticed that she had been sleeping on both pillows "Spock…" Nyota moaned irritated "your bed is big enough for two people…"

"That would be inappropriate Nyota" Spock stated calmly.

"Actually Spock, we are past inappropriate, I am in your bed, wearing your shirt, do not be unreasonable, just get in the bed and go to sleep, I know you want to anyway" Nyota said pushing a pillow to the other side of the bed.

Spock hesitated, of course he had wanted to, but that hardly seemed reason enough to temp himself by sleeping with her so close, he felt susceptible. Yet he was exhausted, and the bed was likely to be more comfortable than the couch would be. Taking a shirt and pair of pants from the closet Spock redressed quickly in the dark room; Nyota lay on her side with her back to him.

Spock carefully entered the bed, he could smell the floral scent of her hair, it was a familiar scent now. Spock lay beside her; the sound of her soft breathing was strangely soothing. Nyota rolled over and glance at Spock, laying flat on his back, one leg dangling off the bed. "Spock?"

"Yes Nyota"

"I am pleased that you decided to join me"

"I am pleased that you accepted my offer to stay."

"Then we are both two very pleased individuals" Nyota giggled turning back over, to face the wall, she drifted to sleep effortlessly.

After a short while Spock found that he was relaxed enough to sleep, the anticipated nightmares did not come, instead his mind was drawn to Nyota, it was the thoughts of her that woke him.

Spock lay in bed, watching her sleep, for a moment he let his control slip. He reached out and stroked the smooth cool skin of her arm with his finger tips, he traced the delicate curves of her waist and hips, as his fingers slid over her skin he was flooded with a sudden rush of desire. Just then she shifted, rolling over she faced him again.

"Spock?" she whispered still half asleep.

"Yes" Spock responded, his tone calmer than he felt as he fought back the effect of the sudden intense stimulation, he hoped she had not noticed.

"What was that?"

"I apologize, I..."

"Do not apologies, nothing is wrong, I just wish that I were awake for that."

"I was curious, yet I did not want to disturb your sleep" Spock explained.

Nyota sat up and turned on the light. In the light Nyota noticed the pale green flush that had crept onto his face.

"Ok…" Nyota sighed, she turned off the lights and rolled over again, this time she reached behind her for his arm, and pulled him close as she snuggled against him. Spock thought to protest, but it seemed illogical to ignore the intense pleasure that ran through him and she lay so close to him.

**A/N: Ok she stayed but not as much action as you might have hoped for…it is coming though… Promise**


	9. irreplaceable

***I own nothing but the DVD***

Nyota was content with her relationship with Spock, they were friends first, but she could feel his barriers coming down, ever so slowly. She never felt the need to talk about commitment or even labeling their relationship, it was what it was. She had actually never thought about other women being attracted to him, though it was perfectly reasonable. It was not until she met Christine that it dawned on her, just as she had been attracted to the smart, handsome, complicated, Vulcan, other girls would be too.

When Spock arrived at his office after administering his last exam of the term he was not expecting anyone, however someone had been expecting him.

They had taken the same biology class once, Spock recalled that she sat in front of him in the lecture hall; it had often been difficult to see around her tall awkward hairdo. She had tried to start a conversation with him more than once, yet he found her to be quite boring.

"Commander Spock!" She chirped "You are never in your office; it is so hard to catch you"

"To say that I am never in my office would be a complete fallacy; however I do have a very capable assistant, which would account for my occasional absence. Is there a reason for your inquiry?"

The woman giggled and extended her hand, "My name is Christine Chapel, I am a bio researcher here at the academy and I am conducting a study on the dietary habits of humanoid species that experience prolonged existence, I was wondering if you could be of assistance."

Spock looked at her still outstretched hand "Since you are aware of the longevity of Vulcan life, I assume you are aware also that vulcans are touch telepaths, hence, we do not shake hands."

Christine withdrew her hand and began adjust her hair. "Well commander, I learn something new every day. Anyway, could we get together sometime soon? I would like to use you in my research."

Spock was aware that there was substantial material on the subject of Vulcan biology in the campus library; he had helped catalog most of it. "I do not think that I am required for you research, I would suggest that you utilize the library." Spock responded before entering his office.

"That is just the thing commander" she persisted, "there is a lot of information on Vulcan's but absolutely nothing on Vulcan/ human hybrids."

Spock turned to face Christine. He thought tell her that he simply was not interested in being part of her research, but Spock recalled that on occasion he had upset many colleagues by stating such facts. Humans seemed to prefer vague responses to outright declination.

"Please leave your request with my assistant; she will send you notice if I decided to take part in your research." Spock responded taking a seat at his desk.

Nyota turned from here work station "The commander is quite busy since it is the end of the term; let me take your name, university email address, and request. I will send you an email through the phonology lab server as soon as he has reached a decision" Nyota smiled knowing the answer to the woman's question already. Spock hated to feel like a science project, an oddity, and he was not open to discussing his mixed lineage; it was too personal and discussing it made him uncomfortable.

"I figured I would go directly to the source" Christine motioned to Spock who had begun grading the exams. "Commander, please email me with your decision, Just reply to the email I sent this morning with a more formal request" she glanced at Nyota " when you have the time of course."

Nyota handed her a data pad, "I check the incoming emails for the phonology lab, please fill out his form and I will let you know" Nyota smiled sensing the woman's irritation.

Christine took the data pad from Nyota without another word. Leaning against Spock's desk she glanced at him "I will include my personal email, just in case you have any questions regarding the research."

Nyota watched the women leave and then turned to Spock "She was way too obvious"

Spock looked up from his work "Obvious?"

"She was flirting with you Spock" Nyota whispered, noting that the hall was full of students transitioning between classes.

Spock raised an eyebrow "flirting; to behave in a playful and alluring manner. This is curious, since I found her behavior to be neither playful nor alluring. In fact I found her behavior to be persistent, relentless, and irksome." Spock surmised. "Please decline her research offer, I do not think it would be beneficial for her research since there can be no clear argument on hybrid life spans based on a single individual."

Nyota turned to prepare the email, slightly bothered by the term 'single individual'.

* * *

Nyota sat across from Spock in the cafeteria, they had come to the conclusion several weeks ago that it was completely acceptable for an instructor and his assistant to occasionally have lunch together. Today Spock did not eat; he was still grading exams and felt that sitting in the cafeteria without eating was without purpose. But Nyota had insisted, she did not like to eat alone in the cafeteria and most of her friends had already left for the three week break in between terms.

"Commander, I have decided to take your advanced phonology class next term" Nyota said poking at the bland vegetable stir-fry on her plate.

Spock's eyes shot up from his data pad "your abilities far exceed the material covered in this course cadet, it would not benefit you to take it."

"While that may be true, I still need to take the class, it is required in order for me to graduate" Nyota explained.

Spock studied her for a moment, "You could easily test out of the course, I am sure you are aware of this."

Nyota sighed, "I have an opening in my schedule and you must admit that it would be beneficial to hone in on my capabilities in my final year, I have my eyes set on the Enterprise and as you are aware, only the best will be considered for the maiden voyage"

"That is correct" Spock admitted turning his attention back to the data pad.

"Oh, the bio researcher from this morning replied to your denial already, Nyota said taking out her handheld. "She says 'thank you for your thorough consideration; I am sorry that we will not be able to work together on the research, perhaps another time and place. If you change your mind do not hesitate to contact me yours in Science, Christine." Nyota rolled her eyes.

"You seem…irritated cadet "Spock noted.

"You are getting better at judging human emotions commander, indeed I am however there is no need to discuss it now"." Nyota replied, there were things that needed to be discussed but on campus she had to keep up appearances, which was becoming more difficult than she had thought it would be.

Nyota pushed her plate away "Let me help you grade some of those, I took basic phonology my first year and aced it" Nyota smiled.

Spock handed her a data pad, I am sure my students will be pleased for someone else to grade their work; they seem to think that my expectations are too high."

"Impossible" Nyota smirked.

Later that evening the once bustling academy was a ghost town; there would be no classes for three weeks, some students went home to celebrate Christmas with their families while others went to their home planet for a much needed break from Starfleet. Nyota and Spock strolled the deserted campus after they had finished grading the last of the phonology exams. There was something soothing about the campus a night, free of students yelling across the lawns and hover cars speeding by. "Starfleet is beautiful this time of year don't you think?" Nyota asked as they approached the athletics field. "Yes, it has a certain appealing quality; however it is not the most beautiful sight that I see at this moment." Spock replied impassively.

Nyota stopped walking "What was that?"

"What was what?" Spock asked turning to face her.

"_Not the most beautiful sight that you see at the moment?" _Nyota asked trying not to seem like she was mocking him.

"I believe that I just complimented your appearance, however if you find it offensive, I will refrain."

"I am not offended Spock, I just did not expect you to say something like that." Nyota said walking to sit on a nearby bench.

"It is not something that I do often, however I felt that it was needed considering your irritation earlier today" Spock explained as he sat beside her.

Nyota looked at him quizzically, "My irritation?"

"Yes, I believe that it arose from a certain bio researcher" Spock recalled Nyota's odd behavior when she was in his office.

Nyota looked down at her hands as she pleated her skirt "I just feel… I think that maybe I am more invested in our relationship than you are at times, it is hard to read you sometimes."

Spock looked at the hands, as they smoothed her skirt, for a moment he hesitated, then he gently placed a hand on top of hers "Did I not invite you to spend the night at my home several months ago?" Spock asked feeling her apprehension.

"Well yes" Nyota said starring at their hands, "but you acted so strangely that night that I felt you might have regretted it."

Spock did not regret it, he thought of that night often, of how he had felt her warmth, her closeness when he touched her, then his lack of control that may have frightened her.

"I did not regret it, Nyota. However I felt it difficult to maintain my composure, when you were close to me."

"So you were nervous?" Nyota smiled.

"I would not call that nervous, it was merely a matter of biology, a very human desire" Spock spoke slowly.

Nyota looked at him, he had the same pale green flush that he had had that night when she awoke to his touch.

"Biology" Nyota repeated, "Well I guess we can blame biology for my irritation today. Spock, women tend to e somewhat territorial, when it comes to their mates, it is biology I suppose. The flirty researcher was not really what bothered me; it was the fact that I have no verbal assurance from you that you that I am…" Nyota paused not knowing how to finish.

Spock entwined her fingers in his, the sensation was awkward but he felt the need to become accustomed to her. "Nyota, I assure you, you are completely irreplaceable, and I do not require anyone else, if that is what you fear."

Nyota's eyes fixed on his, "was that so hard?" she whispered, as she began to pull him in for a kiss his eyes darted to the tall shadowy figure standing in the distance.

A/N: Just when he starts to let down his walls...

Please Review!


	10. Standing in the dark

**I own nothing!!**

Dropping her hand Spock backed away from Nyota. "We are not as alone as I had perceived" Spock whispered as a campus security guard emerged from the darkened allay way. Nyota glanced over her shoulder "Damn it Spock!" Nyota breathed an exasperated sigh "You ruin the moment because of a security guard who probably did not even notice us?"

Spock's brow furrowed, "Nyota..." he began as the guard turned and walked back towards the dormitories " Your agitation is unwarranted, it is unwise for us to behave this way in public, particularly because you will again be my student next term, we must behave appropriately"

"Behave appropriately…right, I do not know what I was behaving as commander Spock" Nyota hissed as she stood "It seems that the only time I am not with Commander Spock is at your home, but when I am there you are too embarrassed to treat me as anything more than a friend, unless I am asleep of course." Nyota softened; he had tried after all to be romantic in his own way. "Spock I hope I am not asking for too much, Spock try to understand…"

Spock stood "Nyota, I invite you to my home, compliment you, kiss you, touch you, and reassure you of my affection for you, but this is not enough. I believe it is you, who does not understand, as I recall I agreed to _try_ to meet your needs, I am doing my best." He stared hard at her, waiting for her to reply. She did not, she just stared back at him, her eyes large almond eyes fixed on his, then without a word she turned and walked away.

She did not look back and he did not follow her, what would it achieve he wondered, going after her when she so clearly did not want to be near him. Spock stood alone in the darkness, feeling as if he had made an error somehow, it was not his intention but what he told her was necessary.

Nyota returned to her room, it felt lonelier than it had before, she did not feel like studying, watching holo vids, or talking to anyone. She tried to sleep but felt restless; it was not easy being a Vulcan's girlfriend.

_He was right, he was doing his best what more did she want? Maybe she should call and apologize. Apologize for wanting more than the few stolen moments alone with him when he was not even comfortable enough to let his guard down completely. _

Spock felt bothered by the whole event as he walked home he contemplated the events that had transpired. Perhaps he had spoken a bit harshly to her, he had no intended to upset her, however she had been unreasonable. He had spent most of his life learning to suppress his emotions, emotions the she found a way to outdraw. He was unaccustomed to feeling to this extent, if he did not maintain his hold on these emotions, he was sure that they would overpower him.

A week passed she did not call, email, nothing, she was ignoring him, if he wanted to contact her he knew how, and he didn't. For a week Nyota prepared for classes as she always did yet she could not ignore the distraction in the back of her mind. _Is he ok? He should have contacted me by now?_

Etana had called ranting about how their parents disapproved of her new boyfriend, Talon, and after ranting about their parents all she talked about was Talon, which made Nyota feel worse.

At the end of the week Nyota went to her and Spock's favorite restaurant and ate dinner alone, she felt utterly pathetic and secretly hoped that Spock was feeling the same way.

Spock had taken a different approach, since she had walked away and left him standing in the dark, it was only logical that she would be the one who contacted him; after all he really had not done anything wrong. Spock Prepared for the next term, course outlines were complete, exams had been checked and rechecked. He meditated, prepared for next month's chess tournament, winning 85% of the time against the computer, and practiced the harp for the all Vulcan music competition. It was a very productive week for Spock, but toward the end of the week he began to feel quit bored with himself. He had also began having dreams of Nyota that were troubling him, he recalled her smooth brown skin, her long legs in that short skirt, her eyes, soft cool lips, the way her hips swayed as she walked, her scent, he awoke more than once needing a cool shower and hours of meditation. At last he admitted to himself that he felt her absence, he wanted to be near her. He began to analyze their last conversation, what was it that she wanted?

"… _The only time I am not with Commander Spock is at your home, but when I am there you are too embarrassed to treat me as anything more than a friend…"_

He contemplated this, and then realized what he must do, to please her and to make amends. It may not be logical, but it would be necessary, one week, one day, and ten hours since he had last spoken to Nyota he sent a brief message.

Nyota,

I hope you are well, I find your absence and silence to be a clear indication of your discontentment. I apologize. If you accept, please call me.

Yours,

Spock

Nyota stared at the small screen on her handheld, "that's it?" She thought aloud as she sat on her bed still in her night shirt, having decided wallow in self pity for the day. She was sad, she missed him, it was only a week, they had gone a week without speaking much before, especially towards the end of the term, but she at least saw him in the lab. She was angry too, why had he not called or anything? Didn't he care? Nyota went to her desk, she thought to make a video call but caught a glimpse of her tousled hair in the mirror and decided to shower and dress first, she had waited a week; surely he could wait a few minutes for her reply.

Spock waited, he received the message read alert which indicated that she had read the message, yet she had not called, would she not accept his apology? Waiting was a useless activity, Spock decided to walk to campus, perhaps he would meet her in the cafeteria, it was the only building open over the break. As he approached the cafeteria entrance she called.

"Nyota, I am pleased you have called" Spock said as he looked at her image on the screen, her smile was wide, he could tell from the painting that hung behind her that she was in her dorm.

"Spock, I have missed you" She admitted, "how are you?"

"I have…wanted to see you" Spock managed as he turned toward the direction of her dorm.

"I should apologize as well; it just gets hard sometimes to have to be so inconspicuous"

"I understand, and accept the apology. I do however have a proposition for you"

"What type of proposition?"

"I want to take you someplace…where I am not Commander Spock as you said. I am on campus now; actually quite close to your dorm can we meet?"

Nyota stared as the screen, "Ok…" she said slowly, still trying to process his 'proposition'.

When she walked out of the dorm Nyota felt the urge to hug Spock, in his own way he looked happy to see her, the corners of his lips turned up just a little and it seemed that if her were not careful he might smile.

"So where are we going?" Nyota inquired.

"I would like to study the vegetation near the Sierra Nevada, the area is known for its aesthetically pleasing scenery, since there are two weeks left in the break I thought that you may enjoy spending a few days there, with me."

"Spock, are you sure?" Nyota asked, she had thought that he wanted to take her out for the evening, but a few days seemed incredibly long, especially for Spock.

"If I were not sure, I would not have asked, I have considered the positive and negative aspects of my request, of course you are free to decline?"

"Well, I will have to consider your offer, but we need to be somewhere private, come up to my room, there is like three people on my floor, and there are no desk workers, we will sneak up the back stairs."

Spock thought that this was unwise, it was definitely a risk.

"Just follow me" Nyota smiled and walked to the back of the building, Spock followed obediently though he was still hesitant.

The first thing Spock noticed when he entered her room was how neat and organized she was. The walls were decorated with paintings of dessert landscapes and statuettes. Her bed was covered with a plush white comforter. Spock spotted the familiar cadet uniform that hung on a stand in the corner of the room.

Nyota closed the door behind them, seeing him in her room gave her a slight feeling of rebellion, her parents would never think that she would sneak a guy into her room.

Spock turned to her "Nyota, do you think it is wise, for me to be in your room" he asked quietly.

Nyota walked to him and wrapped her arms around his torso. "I do not know, but I think our chances of being discovered are quite slim."

Spock took in her scent, he embraced her tightly, he had forgotten how nice she felt pressed against him. "Nyota…" he spoke softly "do not think that I do not desire you, or that I enjoy having to treat you as I would any other student when you are much more. I know you need affection, and to be told things that I cannot tell you. You may underestimate how observant people can be, however I notice the looks we receive at lunch or at a restaurant, when people stare longer than they should, it is a risk. You will be my student next term, I cannot be seen out with you as much then, it will be difficult I know but this is the way it has to be, at least until you graduate and I am no longer your superior."

Nyota pressed her lips to his savoring the heat of his lips; she felt his hands slide down her back, coming to rest on the back pockets of her pants. Their kiss intensified as his body seemed to grow hotter pressed to her, just as Nyota began to feel a pressure against her abdomen, he disengaged from her. "Shall I help you pack? We can leave today if you would like" He offered.

Nyota smiled, noting the slight pale green tint that had crept onto his face, "that would be acceptable"

A/N: Next chapter takes place in the beautiful Sierra Nevada; I thought they needed to get out of town for a little change of scenery, what do you think ??

Please read and review!!


	11. In the Valley

~~I OWN NOTHING~~

They did not arrive at their lodgings until late; it had taken longer for Nyota to prepare than Spock had anticipated. Of course she had to pack her makeup, sleep wear, face cream, and several small containers that seemed to serve no real propose or relation to their trip. When they had finally arrived it was dark, their room was small, but as Spock had put it, it was "Sufficient lodging for the intended purpose." There was one large curtained window that took up one wall of the room, a decent replicator, a sonic shower in the bathroom, a small table with two chairs and a large bed decorated with numerous green and white pillows. "It is small, but comfortable" Nyota commented, as she put away her belongings. Spock crossed to the window, "it is small, however I thought you might enjoy the view," Spock said pulling aside the curtain. Nyota peered out the large window. Below she could see a large lake that ran between the mountain ranges, the full moon reflected in the flowing water, it was dark but Nyota could make out large florescent white flowers that lined the lake. "It is beautiful Spock" She exclaimed happily. "This is Yosemite Lake; "Spock explained, "It was formed over two hundred years ago when the snow from the mountains melted and flooded the valley. Those flowers; Zantedeschia aethiopica sprung up about twenty years ago, they are native to Africa, however it is believed that their pods had been frozen in the ice here since the Pangaeian age and have only now began to germinate."

Nyota blinked at him, "You are going to make an awesome science officer"

Spock tilted his head slightly, considering her comment "thank you" he replied closing the curtain.

Nyota showered and changed into an oversized tee shirt while Spock meditated at the far end of the room. Nyota tiptoed about the room trying to ignore Spock, meditation was a personal matter. Spock had said he only needed an hour but it seemed to go by so very slowly for Nyota. She brushed her hair, rubbed cream on her face and hands, prepared clothing for the next day, all within a relatively short period of time. Nyota lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling, contemplating her half Vulcan boyfriend, who she was trying in vain not to look at. As she stole a quick glance at him sitting cross-legged in the small space between the wall and the table she wondered how long this could last. Spock was content, he was comfortable with her, and he was beginning to talk more about himself, his family, the Vulcan behaviors that few knew about.

Nyota tried to see herself with him; could they ever be a real couple? It felt premature to question it but she could not help but wonder if he could be what her parents called "marriage material." Etana had not told their parents about him, what would be the point of bringing up her boyfriend if it was not going to go anywhere? Nyota's parents were traditional, old fashioned, they did not approve of dating if there was no possibility of marriage in the end. Then there was something that had been nagging her since she had arrived, just how far where things going to go over the next three days? She allowed herself to indulge in the idea of him, stripped of his stoic, unemotional, control… allowing himself to do things that they both knew that he wanted to do. Just as she was beginning to fantasize about this prospect his voice startled her out of her fantasy.

"Nyota?" her eyes fluttered open to see him standing by the table, watching her.

"Spock…I must have… dozed off." She mumbled sitting up.

"You must be hungry." Spock said as he bent over the replicator, checking its settings.

"I was starting to get hungry." She replied. As Nyota began to clear the table of her cosmetics she could not help but admire his tall lean figure, as he bent over the machine. He wore black cotton drawstring pants and a fitted black undershirt. His physique was slender, yet powerfully built, she recalled the few occasions that they had attended the gym together; his Vulcan strength was quite impressive.

That night they ate dinner in their room, the small table was uncomfortable and their knees bumped beneath the table. The stew was watery and the bread was hard and tasteless, still Nyota found it impossible to complain. Nyota fell asleep an hour after eating, Spock watched her as she sleep, her hair splayed across both their pillows. For a moment he resisted the urge, she had protested before and he considered this, however his curiosity got the best of him once more. He touched her fingertips with his, she was quite content, she was dreaming. He regarded her in such a vulnerable state and decided not to press further into her thoughts. He would have to be so bold when she was more responsive, she stirred as he allowed the link to linger a little longer before withdrawing his hand and climbing into bed beside her. For several hours he did not sleep, his listened to her breath, he took in her scent, for a moment he considered the fragility of human life. She wanted to serve on the Enterprise; it was the same starship he was to serve on. Missions could be dangerous, her presence may complicate matters, distract him, he would protect her, he knew he would, in spite of himself he had developed a strong attachment to her that he could not express.

When Nyota awoke Spock was in the restroom, probably taking a shower she thought as she spotted his black shirt and pants folded neatly on top of his duffel bag. Rubbing her eyes Nyota looked about the room; it was still early, there was a dim light filtering into the room through the large window. Nyota rolled over and considered stealing a few more minutes of sleep when she heard the sound that had awakened her the first time. A faint beeping noise came from Spock's bag, Nyota thought it was an alarm; she stumbled over to his bag and fished out the small devise. She looked at the screen "Amanda?" She read aloud.

"That would be my mother"

Nyota jumped at the sound of Spock's voice behind her, "sorry I thought…" Nyota paused as she turned around to face him, for the first time since they had began their relationship Spock stood before her wearing only his pants, he had been in the middle of getting dressed. Nyota silently handed him the hand comm. She stared at him for a moment while he spoke briefly to his mother before she left for the restroom to freshen up and put on her makeup. When Nyota returned from the restroom she was wearing her underwear. "It's not nice to tease" she smiled as she glided past Spock who arched an eyebrow as his gaze followed her across the room. "Fascinating."

They skipped breakfast and spent the morning strolling through the surrounding meadows and hanging gardens, Spock stopped periodically to collect seedling samples. As Spock stopped to examine a peculiar looking fungus growing on a rock near a waterfall Nyota ran ahead of him, the large cascade that ran into the Yosemite Lake seemed to fall from the sky. Spock glanced over at her as she stood examining the fall her long hair billowing as the rush or water crashed down. Spock retrieved the small holo-camera from his jacket pocket, Nyota turned and smiled at him just as he captured the image. He had brought the camera along to take holos of interesting foliage but found Nyota to be a more interesting subject. He took holos of her by the lake, smelling flowers, and posing at the top of a granite dome. A light rain began to fall and though Nyota did not seem to mind Spock could feel his temperature began to drop, he warmed himself, not wanting to interrupt Nyota who seemed to be enjoying herself immensely. At last they went back to their room for lunch and to change out of their wet clothes.

Spock watched as Nyota stood in her underwear brushing the tangles from her hair, He always watched her, he was beginning to feel as if her were on the outside looking at her through a glass. Spock thought that this was illogical; he did not bring her here to watch her, to admire her from afar. She had said herself that he had been too embarrassed to treat her in the manner that she required. Emboldened Spock approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist, breathing her scent in deep. Nyota spun around in his arms, pleased yet startled by his direct approach, he gently kissed her cool lips. He kissed her deeper his hands holding her waist, her skin began to warm beneath his touch. "Spock…" she breathed against his lips. He did not respond, he continued to kiss her hungrily, for a moment Nyota felt as if she were going to collapse. She broke away from his hold and motioned him over to the bed; Spock followed her obediently, unthinking, they were both acting on impulse.

She removed his tee-shirt, she kissed his chest, his stomach, as she fiddled with the clasp on his pants as he lay in the center of the bed on his back he was sure she could hear his heart pounding, he closed his eyes. This was not something they had discussed, he had purposefully avoided to subject, he now regretted this, there were things she was unaware of. They were not bonded, it would not be appropriate, he told himself though he still did nothing to prevent what was happening. He suppressed his natural reaction as he now lay in nothing but his underwear. "Spock…" she whispered his name again as she lay beside him, gliding her fingers across his chest. He opened his eyes and glared directly at her, he sensed her desire as well as his own. He took in the sight of her smooth brown skin and recalled the dreams he had had of her over the past week, just like this. His control faltered a moment too long. His eyes riveted to hers her rolled onto her. For a moment he was unsure of how to proceed, he needed to be able to feel her; he could not bring himself to ask permission. He grabbed her hand and linked his fingers with hers as he pressed against the thin fabric of her underwear.

Nyota felt his weight on top of her, as he touched his fingers to hers she began to feel as if she were suffocating. She felt his passion, faintly at first, the longer he held the link the stronger his passion became. His lips crushed hers in rough frantic kisses; his other hand was gripping her waist bruising her delicate skin. She felt the intensity of his desire; it caused her to writhe and shudder beneath him as he tugged at the elastic band of the thin fabric that separated them. Nyota froze, as she anticipated what would follow as soon as he was able to remove her underwear. She was excited, but apprehensive as she remember how much stronger he was than her; it had never occurred to her that he could easily overpower her. As he continued to press against her she did not protest, she urged him further rising to meet his hips with hers. Suddenly he stopped he dropped the link and gazed down at her, his eyes were wide and dark, he had felt the small pang of fear that had just bolted through her, unsure of what to do he attempted an apology "I am sorry…" he heard himself say as he glanced at the small purple bruise that was beginning to form where he had held her. He had succumbed to his violent territorial passion, almost completely. Nyota smiled up at him "Do not be sorry…" she began as he moved off of her; he looked away from her, ashamed. For a moment they did not say anything or even look at each other, Nyota decided to break the uncomfortable silence. Placing her cool hand on his cheek she turned his attention to her. She place bother her hands in his, she knew that her words would not suffice for him but felt the need to speak them for her sake, "do not be ashamed Spock, ashayam, I love you.

A/N: So close…poor Spock. PLEASE REVIEW. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE.


	12. succumb

*I OWN NOTHING*

It was so easy for her to say, even she was taken aback by how effortlessly the words seem to come out. He stared at her, that was to be expected, it meant that he was ponder what she had said, carefully considering his response. He did what he always did when confronted by overwhelming expressions of emotions that humans had the tendency to empress, he appealed to their sense of reason.

"Perhaps it is merely…infatuation?" Spock whispered looking away from her. Nyota sucked in a breath as she left the bed and went to wash the smudged makeup from her face. Spock sat up in the bed and quickly pulled on his pants, he took her lack of response as an indication of her displeasure at his remark. "Nyota I…"

"Infatuation is a temporary, irrational desire for someone. Is that really what you think I have for you?" Nyota asked as she dropped her applicator and turned her attention to him.

"No, however what you expressed is difficult to define" he retorted still not meeting her gaze.

"Love is different" Nyota explained calmly, "I cannot define it for you because words are insufficient, it is wholly intangible, however it is very real, and I believe that it is quite logical. Furthermore, I am in touch with my emotions I know exactly what I feel for you, even though at times you make it difficult, I still love you."

She said it again. Spock thought back to the first discussion of love, in the lecture hall when she had attempted to justify love as 'an emotion… the brains way of telling us not to protest against our natures'. He momentarily reconsidered her argument for emotion.

"Emotions require control and restraint otherwise they would cause individuals to act on impulsion, without reason…" Spock stopped, Nyota had made a sound that she had once described as a 'giggle', which expressed amusement, he had not intended to be humorous, her response was …inappropriate.

Nyota sensed that she had struck a chord, Spock's expressionless face seem to tense, his jaw was clinched. Nyota walked over to Spock who was sitting on the edge of the bed, "We were just acting on impulsion, both of us, there is nothing wrong with that, didn't it feel good to allow yourself to succumb to your desire, even for awhile?"

Spock recalled the sensation that had come over him when he had kissed her, when he sensed her arousal when he linked with her, it had been overwhelming, he had fought for control, he remembered what it was that had stopped him, her fear.

"It was beyond pleasure I must admit. However, one cannot allow themselves to be controlled by pleasure. You do not fully understand Vulcan physiology, our passions can be quiet brutal, I did not wish to subject you to that."

Nyota smiled "Why?"

Spock's lips betrayed an amused smirk, "It is logical" He responded dryly.

Nyota insisted that Spock take her out for dinner, their lunch in the room had been just as bland as the soup and bread from the previous evening. Spock had of course argued that the replicator's meals were sufficient in nutrition and thus served their purpose to which Nyota replied "they cannot be sufficient in nutrition if they are not consumed, and I do not plan on consuming replicator mush tonight."

The restaurant was positioned at the top of Tioga Mountain, The atmosphere was agreeable, the food was appetizing, the service was, for Spock, unacceptable. The evening started off well, there restaurant was not too busy, there was a live band, Nyota was in her usual pleasant mood, and then their attendant arrived.

Spock did not usually notice the reaction he and Nyota drew from onlookers, he in fact found it a useless point to consider especially since their behavior was always discreet and acceptable. This was not the case on this particular. When they were seated he immediately noticed the tall, dark attendant who had immediately noticed Nyota. He approached the table just as they sat down. "Good afternoon, welcome to The Tuolumne" he smiled broadly at Nyota, he had not seemed to notice the man sitting with her. An awkward silence hung in between them as the attendant eyed Nyota who looked at Spock who seemed perplexed. "Nyota would you like to order?" Spock asked breaking the silence. "Sure…" Nyota began. The attended interrupted "Your name is Nyota? Are you from Africa by chance?"

"Yes, the Kenyan Coast to be exact" Nyota admitted.

"I was born in Burundi, _salamu_ my name is Shujaa, it is a rare to treat to meet a countryman so far from home." The man held out his had to Nyota, she looked at his out stretched hand, and then at Spock, whose brows were drawn sharply together as he to glared at the man's hand. Nyota looked at the smiling Shujaa; perhaps it was innocent enough, if your boyfriend was not a Vulcan. She was not going to bother with trying to explain that she could not shake his hand because her boyfriend is a Vulcan and Vulcan's are touch telepaths and on and on. She would come off very rude, which was not her nature generally; however there seemed no other solution. "Nice to meet you" she nodded keeping her hands safely beneath the table. It was then that Shujaa seemed to notice Spock for the first time; he turned to him briefly and gave him a sideways glance before taking their orders and hurrying away. "You handled the situation, quite efficiently" Spock commented while they waited for their meals to arrive. "Spock, what did I order just now?" Nyota asked. "I believe you called it pasta with diced tomatoes and basil."

"Why?"

"I assume you find it palatable"

"Yes but why did I not order the roast buffalo cutlet instead?"

"The consumption of animals is…"

"Something that many humans do, like shaking hands"

"Nyota I do not see how shaking hands and eating animals relate, other than they are both activities that I do not take part in."

"That is right; they are things _you_ do not do, because of who you are. I have no qualms with you being who you are. Likewise you should not feel discomfort if I shake hands with others, it is perfectly acceptable in my culture."

Spock considered her explanation, it was logical, "Nyota, it would be inappropriate if you and I were bond mates, it would not be acceptable, in any culture."

"Yes Spock, but I am not your bond mate, she is on Vulcan." Nyota Sighed.

Before Spock could formulate a response Shujaa arrived with their meal. Nyota smiled and thanked him, Spock watched him carefully as he placed Nyota's plate before her smiling. Spock concluded that the man smiled at Nyota more than was necessary, even for a human, he found this observation unsettling. Spock glanced at Nyota's plate "would you have preferred the buffalo" he inquired.

Nyota smiled, Spock noticed she smiled many different ways, depending on her mood and who she was addressing, this smile she only used for him. "I don't really like buffalo" she stated. As they ate Spock noticed their attendant was quite attentive, to Nyota at least. Nyota was attractive, well spoken, and intelligent, she attracted attention easily. This generally did not bother him, but something had changed, he found the attention she received from Shujaa to be completely unacceptable. "Nyota, it is illogical to speculate on things that are unlikely to occur, but our conversation on the terran habit of shaking hands as you call it perplexed me. Suppose I decided to kiss someone, for example that bio researcher who was so interested in my biology, would it not be the same as you embracing the hand of the attendant, who seems to be quite interested in you?"

Nyota put her fork on the plate and glared at Spock, "Are you making a joke?"

"I wouldn't"

"Then you seriously think that a gesture that insinuates romantic intentions and one that is a gesture in greeting between brief acquaintances is the same thing?"

"Not exactly, Spock countered, "However you are familiar with Vulcan culture and are well aware of the implications touching other individuals hands have among us, if you actually feel such affection for me that you expressed earlier, you could accommodate this."

Nyota smiled, "it is something I will consider, because I love you." Spock glanced around the room quickly, feeling her public profession was too overt. It seemed as though no one had heard the exchange, and since he was aware that their relationship required compromise he did not comment on the matter.

That night Spock meditated as Nyota slept, he was troubled, there was something about what she said to him that day that made him territorial, protective of her. He had found himself repulsed by the idea of her 'shaking hands' with the young terran male. What if she had shaken the man's hand? It would have meant nothing to them, but he could not help but feel it would have been utterly inappropriate; she did not belong to that man. Nor did she belong to him, not exactly, not yet. Spock felt the undeniable urge for her to belong to him, initially he thought it was an early onslaught of the blood fever, however his logic and much of his restraint were intact. As he admired her sleeping form he thought that it could merely be lust. Lust however seemed insufficient, it was something else, it was deeper. Although he was able to push the effects of her from his mind temporarily he was still vaguely aware of them throbbing within him. Spock was aware that something had to be done, things could not continue as they were.

He approached her after she had taken her shower, before she fixed her hair and put on makeup, he thought she looked most pleasing in this state. She lounged on the bed wearing a thin robe tied at the waist; she was browsing through a data pad. "Nyota, I want to show you something" Spock said perching on the edge of the bed.

"Sure." Nyota smiled setting the data pad down.

"I can only show you, through my own consciousness, like when I touched your hands, but this time, it will be more intense, if you will allow me." Spock explained.

Nyota sat up, she seemed confused for a moment then slowly nodding her head she replied "ok…yes…go ahead, show me."

Spock lifted his hand to her face, it will be strange for you at first, do not be frightened. "Nyota closed her eyes as she felt the warmth of his fingers on her face, she begin to feel dizzy. "Our minds, one and together" Spock whispered pressing further in to her consciousness. Nyota froze; she felt outside of herself, she looked down at herself, her heart raced. She felt an unfamiliar stirring in her abdomen, it was not her own. "How do you feel?" she heard a voice ask, she was not sure if she had spoken or Spock. "I am confused" she mouthed still unable to ascertain the speaker. "Concentrate." Nyota began to feel a sudden calm rush over her, she felt herself atop something soft, there was a salty presence on her tongue, she was kissing someone, a girl? She smelled lavender, her shampoo, entwined with a strong sweet scent; arousal. She was overcome by desire, she remembered this feeling clearly. "Do not be ashamed, I love you." Nyota felt her heart pound in her chest. There was a rush of affection that flooded through her, it did not belong to here, she had never felt anything like it before, for a moment she went blank then She saw herself sitting at the restaurant the previous night, she noticed the waiter standing at the table smiling at her, she felt slightly angry as she glanced at his outstretched hand. "She belongs to me" a voice echoed in her ears. "Nyota…Spock?" Nyota felt a throbbing sensation within her, again she found herself looking at herself, she gazed into her eyes, "Ashalik, you are mine" love it felt like a euphoric loss of gravity, happiness, it was unfamiliar, Spock felt a lack of focus, he faltered, then she was gone.

His hand rested on her shoulder as she felt herself regaining her own consciousness. She blinked at Spock momentarily bewildered; she looked about the room then returned her gaze to him, words were inadequate. Spock held her gaze; he dropped his hand to the string of her robe and tugged at it gently. The flimsy fabric slid off her shoulders effortlessly, Spock admired her smooth delicate skin as he pulled away the remaining fabric, exposing her fully. He kissed her gently as she helped him undress, as her hands danced over his bare skin a surge of passion rushed through him, he breathed deep and pulled back momentarily regaining control. "Spock..." she smiled pulling him closer. He kissed her lips, her neck, the slope of her neck, her sighs urged him further, he held back. He wanted to savor her, he explored with his lips, his hands, slowly. Nyota gripped his shoulders her nails pressed into his flesh, he shuddered with pleasure. Their arms entwined he pressed her close, relishing the coolness of her skin against his, again he held back. Nyota felt his pleasure prodding her slightly, "Please…" she breathed franticly thrusting her hips to meet his. He wanted to hold back, a few moments more. Spock felt his blood rushing, he was uncertain, remembering her fear on their first attempt. Pushing her back against the bed he stared down at her, his countenance a mask, his brows drawn together, he appeared to be concentrating intently on her face. He pressed his fingers to hers; she closed her eyes, she felt his hesitation, he felt her desire. His kisses intensified, again she felt as though she could not breath, she bit down on his lip, a soft gasped escaped him, he succumbed.

A/N: I will end the scene here; don't want to change this to an M rating. I may do an in-depth M rated version if anybody wants it. Otherwise do stay tuned, a few more chapters and we will be on to the post- movie sequel!

Oh and… REVIWE, REVIEW, REVIEW!


	13. Back to reality

*I own Nothing*

Spock lay on his back as Nyota snuggled against his warmth. His eyes surveyed the room, the headache from the rush moments ago was beginning to subside, he felt relaxed. As he took in the feel of her next to him, he felt the need to preserve the moment. It was logical to contemplate the future, to prepare one's self, the fact was she belonged to him for now, he had her, but this may not always be so. There were things between them that he knew he could never have with T'Pring, or any other Vulcan. A Vulcan woman could never comprehend his desires, complexities, the human aspects of who he was. Nyota was human, but she was logical, she made sense, her emotions expressed what he could not, so that in an essence he could. With her he had experienced things that he had never considered before. Inevitably it would all end, as things do logically come to an end. He took in her scent, exotic, feminine, familiar her hand rested on his chest, as the light poured into the room her admired the contrast between the bronze glow of her skin and the pale olive tone of his, she complimented him perfectly. Until this moment he had never fully appreciated the natural beauty of a woman. His eyes trailed along her naked form, stopping to admire each Soft mound and valley, recalling the warm crevices and the pleasures that lay within.

"Spock" Nyota whispered, drawing him out of his reverie, she peered at him.

"Yes?" he replied softly brushing a long strand of hair out of her face.

"You are so quiet, are you troubled?"

"Silence does not imply unrest; in fact, I find the silence coupled with your presence calming, after such activity as we experienced." Spock explained quietly.

Nyota smiled, for a Vulcan, he was quite the romantic. Closing her eyes she rested her head in his chest once more, feeling the sense of calm in the silent room.

They would spend the rest of the day in that room, and later decided to spend the rest of the break in the sierra, being tighter, without having to pretend that they were not. It went by far too quickly.

It was the first day of classes after the winter recess, Nyota sat in the center row of the lecture hall of her first class; Advanced Phonology II. She watched Spock pace before the hall reviewing his notes, he had not looked at her the entire thirty minutes that she had been seated. As students began to file into the room Spock began to distribute the syllabus, as he reached her row he spoke to her for the first time she had been in the room.

"Cadet, you are not on my roster." He avoided her gaze. For a moment stared at him, perplexed.

"Commander, you are aware that I did register for this course." Nyota stated smiling nervously.

"There were some changes early this morning, if you would like to discuss the issue further you may stop by my office after this class has ended" he replied before turning towards the next row of classes. Nyota fumbled dumbly with her data pad, stuffing it into her bag she hurried out of the hall.

Nyota paced outside of Spock's office as she waited for the class to end. She knew that their personal relationship had to take on a more professional appearance since their return to the academy but he had never before seemed so outwardly rude as he had in the lecture hall. Something was wrong, something felt wrong. Nyota was not one to easily be unnerved, yet as she waited her stomach began to ache with anxiety. She though back to their last conversation Sunday evening when he had dropped her off in front of her dorm. He had seemed fine; they had talked about classes and the new flagship that she had wanted to serve on. Nothing had been amiss, he had even kissed her before she had gotten out of the hover car, and public displays of affection were something that he was uncomfortable with but he had allowed it. The hour long class seemed to drag on, when Spock finally approached his office Nyota was sitting by the door, she stared at him in agitation.

"Please take a seat Cadet" Spock motioned to a chair as he closed the door.

As Nyota watched him she noticed how his shoulders seemed to slump briefly before he straightened and turned to take his seat behind the desk. He regarded her silently as he clasped his hands in front of him on the desk. Nyota searched his face, nothing, she cleared her throat "Spock, what going on?" She asked gently. His eyes remained on the desk, "You are familiar with Professor Kenton?"

"Yes," Nyota replied "She is the head of the science department; I took one of her classes last fall."

"Yes, she is also a botanist, she informed me of this just this morning."

"What does this have to do with you dropping me from your class?" Nyota asked, for once extremely annoyed with is calm, stoic expression.

"Professor Keaton lives here in San Francisco, however when classes are not in session she vacations at her lodge, in the north, she has been collecting data on the existence of non-native flora, like the Zantedeschia aethiopica, the African lilies, found by the Yosemite Lake." Spock paused. Nyota sat silently, the implications of what he had said donned on her.

"This morning" he continued, "She was waiting for me in my office, she informed me of this. She also informed me that she was quite disappointed when she saw, me of all individuals, entering a motel with one of her top students.

Nyota blinked at him, wide eyed "but… what about… Spock, if I get put on academic probation I will never get…" She stammered trying to keep her voice from cracking.

"Nyota, relationships between faculty members and students are not unheard of, however they are disapproved of, Professor Kenton explained that she was under no obligation to report the discretion to the board, as long as you were not working in my office, or a current student of mine. I am aware that this was a courtesy, a warning of sorts. She stated that she was taking into account my age, and that I was a 'young professional'. As degrading as the discussion was, we are still fortunate that Professor Keaton held us both in high regard. You were only taking my course as an elective, your abilities are unparalleled in the discipline of deciphering speech patterns, we are both aware of this. I have spoken with Professor Onocha, she needs an aid for her advanced acoustical engineering course, this would be an opportunity for you to hone in on your abilities I would be willing to supply a reference for you if you would like."

Nyota felt a rush of relief, which quickly faded, "Spock, what about us…our relationship?" she breathed, reaching out to clasp his hands in hers.

Spock looked down at their hands, he felt her fear, sadness, and confusion, he had never experienced sensations quite like these before. It had come on too suddenly, he felt slightly dizzy, he closed his eyes, steadying himself. "Nyota… I am unsure, I have contemplated the options, yet I have not reached a favorable conclusion."

Nyota pulled her hands away, they had come so far, but it seemed that he still had not come far enough. They had known the risks, it had been worth the risk, didn't he know that? Nyota stood, straightened her skirt, as she turned to leave she stopped and turned to face him once more, "Spock, when I am unsure, if I just don't know what to do, I do what feels right." She advised.

Spock watched her silently as she left; the last time she had walked away from him he did not see her again for a week. It would be a waste of time, to wait for a week to do something that he knew he would do anyway.

The hallway was crowded with students, chattering and trying to locate their classes, when he finally spotted her among the sea of red clad cadets he was approached by one of his students.

"Commander, I lost the syllabus, I was just wondering if I could have another one, you know, since you assigned a project on the first day of classes and all."

Spock glanced down at the cadet, "to show such a degree of irresponsibility this early in the term is unwise, I only issue one syllabus per student, you will have to find a classmate willing to allow you to copy theirs." He replied curtly before starting down the hall.

Nyota swept through the crowd headed toward the exit, her face burned as she fought back tears. It was embarrassing, to think that the dean of science felt that Spock was just having a fling with a student. Was that all it was? Just a fling? She had been so sure that is was more, that they had a bond, she had felt it, it was love or something like it.

As she pushed through the door she heard his voice behind her, "Cadet Uhura" She spun around to face him, bumping into an instructor that had stumbled into her path, missing the door handle she tripped over the ledge, as she felt herself falling she closed her eyes and braced herself for the hard pavement.

Spock reacted, there was little time to consider the implications as he reached out and caught Nyota around the waist, pulling her back into the building, as soon as she regained her bearings he released her. "Sp… thank you commander, I must be more careful" Nyota nodded quietly glancing around them. There was an awkward silence as the halls began to empty. "Severance is not an option, however changes must be made. Shall I write a reference for you for Professor Onocha?" Spock spoke quickly as they began to walk down the hall.

"Sure." Nyota sighed, "Let me know when I can come pick it up."

When Nyota arrived back to her dorm room after her last class she was met by her abnormally chipper ex roommate.

"Nyota!" Gaila shrieked as she jumped off her bed to hug Nyota.

"Gailia, your back…here" Nyota exclaimed half heartedly as she sat her bag down.

"Yeah, that guy I was dating had a problem with me having other guys over so… he kicked me out, humans are so touchy, no offense"

"None taken." Nyota Smirked.

Nyota changed out of her uniform and into one of Spock's cotton tee shirts that she had stuffed in with her things before they left the Sierra. She lay on her bed pouring over her homework when he called. Nyota glanced over at her roommate who was getting dressed for a date. Nyota pulled on a pair of pants and hurried out into the hall.

Nyota could not suppress a smile when Spock's image flicked on the screen of her handheld.

"Hello…dear" Nyota greeted him, not wanting to mention his name in earshot of anyone who might be in the hallway.

"Deer?" Spock replied confused by her reference to earth fauna.

"It is a term of endearment, I am in the dorm hall my roommate moved back in so, there is an extreme lack of privacy.

"I see, and how shall I refer to you?"

"Well, I do not think many people in my dorm are fluent in Vulcan, so whatever would be suitable in Vulcan would be acceptable."

"Would the term taluhk be acceptable?"

"It is very acceptable"

"I concur, my taluhk, as I said there are changes that we have to make to our relationship, at least until after you graduate"

The following week Nyota reported to Professor Onocha's office to pick up her syllabus and review the previous weeks lecture notes.

When she spotted Spock in the hallway, she smiled as always, they had decided to keep all communication on campus to a minimum. They did not meet for lunch in the cafeteria and limited the times they went out for dinner together. Spock gave her the entrance code to his apartment so that they could meet there without being seen going into the building together. Nyota hated sneaking around, it made their relationship seem immoral but it had to be endured until she graduated. The thought was daunting, what would happen after she graduated? There would be a short recess before they would have to report for duty aboard their assigned starships, most assignments were between three and five years, if they were not assigned to the same starship they would rarely see each other.

One morning as they ate breakfast in his small kitchenette Nyota decided to approach the subject.

"Spock, after I graduate we are going to be a real couple right?"

"Spock looked up from his bowel of broth, "We are real Nyota"

"That's not what I mean, I mean that we can be together without getting in trouble for it, I can stop lying to my parents about not being involved with anyone. What if we are not assigned to the same starship and I don't get to see you for years and we just grow apart? I am beginning to worry about our future.

Spock reached across the table for her hands, "Do not worry" he reassured her as he felt her slight anxiety. "I will not leave you, even if we are on different starships. Missions can be dangerous and it is a real possibility that we may lose our lives that is the risk on takes when they join Starfleet. Aside from death, there is nothing to worry about; Vulcans are known for their fidelity.

Nyota sighed, "Fidelity… I wonder what T'Pring would think about your fidelity?"

A/N: Sorry it took so long to post this chapter! Hope yall are still there

We shall see what T'Pring thinks in the next and final chapter of this fic. Please stay tuned!

BTW…. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW

* taluhk - precious


	14. Spuhura

The pink elephant in the room Nyota called it, his bond with T'Pring; it was something that could not be ignored. For weeks Nyota spoke of needing to feel 'validated', she understood why he had been bonded, she understood that romantic relationships were very personal matters in his culture. She understood his situation, but he had failed to comprehend hers "I do not want to be a secret" were her exact words; she had stormed out that night when he had told her that there was nothing wrong with secrecy. She had told her parents about their relationship, her mother was less then pleased, but had to admit that at least he was better than Etana's boyfriend, the starving artist who practically lived at the family compound. Her father had been surprisingly accepting of the idea of her dating a Vulcan and insisted on meeting him when the family came for her graduation ceremony at the end of the term.

"Spock, how nice of you to call your dear, old, mother." Amanda smiled as Spock greeted her on the video comm. The last time she had talked to him he had been on recess from the academy, she never understood why he preferred not to come home to visit during those breaks, it would be nice to see more of him.

Spock studied the image, the lines on her forehead were more pronounced, and there was a considerable amount of gray in her hair, but he would hardly consider her old.

"How is your health mother?"

"Oh, I'm fine…I am well my son. How are things at Starfleet?"

"Things are well, is father around?"

"Sarek had an off planet convention to attend, he will return in a few weeks. Why the sudden interest in your fathers whereabouts?"

"Mother I want to speak to you about a personal matter…"

"Anything Spock"

"There is someone, with whom I have become romantically involved with. She is human and her name is Nyota, I am telling you because... she insisted."

"Oh Spock your first girlfriend, that's wonderful, it would seem as if I have had an effect on you after all!" she quipped, smiling broadly.

"Mother, please try to restrain yourself, there is another important matter I wish to discuss. T'Pring has never contacted me, even when we were younger, she has purposefully-"

"Spock" she broke in, her grave tone betraying her calm exterior "You need a bond mate, I know it is something we don't talk about but… you are almost twenty-seven years old… it would be illogical to tamper with your bond now, without knowing whether or not someone else would understand, or be willing to comply…and what if this relationship does not last, it was so difficult for your father to find a family that was willing to…" she paused. She looked at him intently; she had seen this look before, the resentment in her son's eyes that he could never hide, her voice softened. "Spock, I speak to you as a mother, with fear for what may happen to you in the future. Because of me, they tormented and ridiculed you. I heard the names they would call you, I saw how the nightmares kept you awake. Spock, I have never regretted marrying your father, or having you, but I realize how difficult I made your life. I urge you to think long and hard about the choices you plane to make regarding T'Pring. It may not make much sense to you now, but I have learned from experience that having is not as pleasant as wanting, try to remember this, the consequences of your actions will be lifelong"

"Yes, I do agree that acting in haste is unwise, I shall thoroughly consider all you have said. There is something else I need to tell you. I wanted you to know that I have decided that this will be my last year as an instructor at Starfleet, Captain Pike has asked me to accompany him on the next mission aboard the new starship at the end of this term, I will be acting as first officer…"

Their conversation lasted a few minutes longer; concluding as is usually did with his mother insisting that he try to communicate with his father regardless of his father's obvious disapproval. As always he appeased his mother, stating that he would consider her request.

When his mother's image flickered off the screen he sat his comm. on the table. He considered his mother's warning, as he looked at Nyota reclining on the couch. He had wanted her, though he had not wanted to experience such weakness. He had been without her, and he had been with her, he had wanted her and he had possessed her, from his experience, wanting had been more agonizing than having which he found to be more acceptable than the latter. However, moments of pleasure and contentment were insignificant when compared to a lifetime of coexistence. Could she accept him when the novelty of their relationship was no longer there? Once his curiosity was satisfied would their union still seem as logical as it did now? There were many unanswerable questions, and yet there was something that he was sure of; his mother had a valid argument. If he remained bonded with her, he would eventually have to honor his commitment to her.

"Spock…"Nyota sighed, rousing him from his thoughts, "What time is it? I need to leave soon if I am going to catch the last shuttle before it gets too dark out."

"It is exactly 7:02:37; there is still ten minutes before you need to be at the shuttle stop" Spock replied moving to the armchair across from where she lay, "However I would be pleased if you spent the night"

Nyota giggled "As pleasing as it would be, I don't have my uniform and I would never make it to my dorm in time to change and get ready for class. Anyway I stayed last night, too bad I fell asleep while you were meditating again though."

"Yes, it is too bad" Spock replied, the corners of his lips quirking slightly. "You would be pleased to know that I have complied with your wishes. I informed my mother of our relationship, I believe that she is _happy_ that I have a companion. Yet she cautioned me, regarding disrupting the bond with T'Pring."

"Oh yes…T'Pring "Nyota murmured dropping a PADD into her bag, "Spock, I know arranged marriage are an honored tradition on Vulcan and that such bonds unite families and all but, what if you don't want to marry the person your parents chose for you? Your father married a human and he is an ambassador what ever happened to his bond mate?"

"She died, death breaks the bond." Spock stated flatly, "He married my mother because it was logical, considering his ties to Earth as an ambassador."

"Then it is logical, considering your heritage that you too might consider… a similar course of action" she countered pulling on her jacket.

Spock arched his brow, "perhaps"

Nyota smiled holding her hand out to him; their unique farewell, he reached out and entwined their fingers. She was relaxed, hopeful, and content. "rom-halan ashal-Spock" she whispered stooping to kiss him lightly, as she pulled away Spock felt her reluctance, "rom-halan sha' Nyota, it would be wise to bring a spare uniform next weekend."

"Sure" Nyota smiled as she turned to leave.

"Welcome home Sarek" Amanda greeted her husband when he arrived home three weeks later. He nodded slightly in acknowledgement as he entered their home, the convention had been pleasant, and the journey home had been without incident, he was completely relaxed, aside from a dull discomfort that was not own. His bond mate was worried, she had been for some time, it was their son. That evening as they dined on the veranda he approached the subject. "What has he done now?" Sarek inquired without looking up from his plate. "Do not be so hard on him; he has not done anything wrong. He is a young man, alone, away from his family it's only natural that he…" Amanda paused, sensing Sarek's tension "I am just concerned about his wellbeing," she sighed, "There is a human girl that he is involved with, he asked about his bond with T'Pring, I think he means to… if the blood f-"

"Our duty is done in this regard. Because of my position here, I was able to secure a bond mate for him. If I were not an ambassador with high standing among my people he never would have been bonded. Since he wants to disregard the ways that I have taught him, the Vulcan ways, I cannot be bothered with his foolish, irrational behavior."

Amanda nodded slowly and returned to her meal, blocking out her husband's pulses of anger and disapproval. Spock was her main concern, and Sarek's indifference only made her more aware of her need to protect him from himself, his human nature.

****

The next morning she invited T'Pring's mother T'Pura for breakfast in her home. Amanda regarded the tall slender woman as she sat across from her sipping tea. The women had last spoken at the Vulcan Music competition more than six months ago. Though she was always pleasant T'Pura like most Vulcan women was silent and reserved in her presence. "How is your family" Amanda offered breaking the dead silence in the room. T'Pura sat her tea down lightly "they are well, my eldest son recently graduated from the Science Academy, but it is T'Pring that you are really interested in is it not? The woman inquired tilting her head slightly.

"Well, yes I am interested in T'Pring, as she will eventually become a part of our family. I was curious though, about her communications with Spock, perhaps they should-"

"There has been no communication" T'Pura stated coolly, "Your Spock has become somewhat of a legend here, T'Pring finds this distasteful. Neither she, nor I had any say in the matter of her being bonded to your son, the hybrid who had the gumption to turn down one of our most highly regarded institutions of science." She paused momentarily acknowledging the startled look on Amanda's face. "Perhaps you do not understand" she continued "their bond has been difficult for all of us to accept, most of all T'Pring; I will talk to her, but do not disappoint yourself by expecting too much."

Amanda sat motionless in her chair, fighting back her anger; she told herself that her resentment was not toward T'Prua or T'Pring; they were only behaving as their society dictated. Amanda stood silently and called for the housekeeper to clear away their dishes. After a moment of hesitation she thanked T'Pura for her time and escorted her to the door maintaining the cool, stoic exterior that she had perfected over the years. As she headed up the stairs to her room tears of anger and frustration begin to roll down her cheeks.

"Nyota, you will be late for class if you do not get dressed" Spock warned pulling on his black trousers as Nyota lay sprawled on the bed still wearing his shirt. "Some of us need a little more than three hours of sleep" she murmured crankily pushing the tangled mass of sheets aside. She stumbled to the bathroom and splashed water on her face, briefly examining her neck for bite marks. Nyota returned to the bedroom and flopped back down on the bed, she had nearly dozed off when she was roused once more.

"Nyota" Spock called peering down at her, "you are taking part in the simulation today, I need you to be focused. I suggest that you have breakfast, not only will you be more focused, you are likely in need of the extra energy, considering the amount of energy you exerted last night."

Nyota smiled meekly, "it _was_ worth it"

"Indeed it was." he concluded before leaving her to dress as he prepared their breakfast.

Nyota appeared in the kitchenette looking much more refreshed in her perfectly pressed uniform and high efficient ponytail. She smiled as she took her seat across from Spock at the small table. "I could get use to this" she teased grabbing a piece of bread from the plate in the center of the table. Spock's brow arched, "perhaps you could" They ate in silence as Spock checked emails on his comm. and Nyota reviewed her home work.

Spock responded to a few emails and finished his cup of tea, as he stood to clear away the dishes he felt a sharp bump; it was resembled a headache but had dissipated as quickly as it had occurred. He stood motionless, waiting for her presence to return, after a few moments he carried the dishes to the sink, they clattered into the sink as another violent jolt shout through his consciousness. This was unheard of, T'Pring had never made her presence known before, her sudden contact was unsettling. Spock felt a wave of nausea sweep over him as he clutched the edge of the counter, concentrating on shielding his mind from the sudden intrusion. As her presence faded Spock could hear the familiar chime from his Comm. coming from the other room. "Spock," Nyota called from the dining room, "You have a call…it's a vid..." Nyota paused looking at the image, of a young Vulcan woman, "a video call" Nyota continued still glaring at the screen.

"It is T'Pring" Spock stated as he emerged from the Kitchen. Taking the Comm. from her hand he flipped open the voice receiver "this is Spock"

"You obviously prefer the human form of communication to those of Vulcan."

"They are sufficient, what is the purpose of the communication that you seek?" Spock asked returning to his seat at the table.

"My mother recently approached me with an inquiry, regarding Kah-ka. I hope that you have no intentions of consummating the union before it is absolutely necessary."

Spock's eyes shot to Nyota, who sat across the table listening intently, she was visibly uncomfortable as she avoided his gaze.

"I have no such intentions" Spock countered.

"That is wise Spock. Though you and I are bonded, I do not belong to you, I do hope you understand."

Nyota smiled, relieved that T'Pring apparently had no interest in Spock. She was however slightly angered by T'Pring's tone of superiority; she rose from her seat to stand directly behind Spock and in full view of T'Pring, she rested her hand on his shoulder.

Spock tilted his head slightly "I believe I share your sentiments exactly."

FIN

**A/N:**

**And that is how Spock and Uhura became Spuhura**

**I decided to end here as it takes you right up their last term at Starfleet… I hope you have been entertained, if not please feel free to comment, I am planning a sequel that takes place just after they return from defeating Nero. Any ideas and constructive criticism are welcomed. Thanks for reading.**

rom-halan ashal-Spock - Goodbye my dear Spock

rom-halan sha' Nyota - Goodbye my Nyota

Kah-ka – the bond


End file.
